### Insect Warfare - Beau Beasley

#### 04/02/08 || Kampfar

Fucking hell, I just lost 7-2 to Sunderland. Now I’m very pissed, and during the loss I felt a great need to crush my keyboard violently and repeatedly through my monitor. Most of the players who conceived the loss are situated in England, I manage(d) West Bromwich, and I will cover the bus and weapons expenses for whoever’s taking the effort to kill them cunts off. Mail me for a list of names.

Manhunt 2 my ass, FM 2007 evokes the fury. Good luck in the trash bin ya piece of shit.

So, what the fuck has all of this to do with Insect Warfare you might ask. Wise question, but if you’ve listened to Insect warfare, if only just one song, you know they too failed their anger management course. That’s enough in context for me.

Global Domination: Hello ya gun crazed Texans, a Polar bear fucking Norwegian here. Only the kids, the grownups are too lose. Anyway, I’ll start off congratulating you and the band with one of the most pissed off efforts I’ve heard in my days. Did any of you pop a vein during recording?*

After recording 40 guitar tracks and bass tracks my wrist hurt really bad. I couldn’t play guitar comfortably for about 5 days after. I’m fine now but it sucked for the time being. Actually, when we finished the recording the computer crashed and we lost the entire recording session. That’s when a vein burst in my head. Anyways, we just sucked it up and re-recorded the whole thing a second time.

“World extermination” is your first full-length, but before it you spat out release like a fucking decent machine-gun. Can we expect to see a new release from ye guys in the near future? And if so, will it have keyboard and eunuch choirs? Are you still going to do splits and shit? I ask, in full knowing that you just ejaculated “World extermination,” because of that mentioned list of releases. Notorious bastards, love ya.

Shit man, we finished “WD” and I haven’t even got a chance to rest and enjoy it. We just went back into the studio and recorded 12 songs for a split 5” with Agoraphobic Nosebleed. After that we got splits with Retaliation and Regurgitate from Sweden. Expect lots of synth guitar and organ solos. Maybe some harmonica?

While fucking around the net for information about ye guys, a search which left me with a near empty basket, I learned that you are heavily influenced by a band called Razor. Who the fuck is Razor? And, most importantly, is it bullshit or true? And while we are at it, are you familiar Kill The Client?

Razor were a Canadian trash metal band that were notorious for being assholes and kicking people’s asses. That’s why they influenced us. Not so much musically but more for the asshole vibe. Yes, Kill the Client are friends of ours. They live in a different city but we play shows together.

How come the writings on your homepage are of size 4 or something? I’m getting old ya know, hard to read shit like that. Should I consider suicide? The site is shit, by the way.

Because I like to make old men like you hurt their eyeballs trying to find information on us! Websites are useless these days and I just made a simple one so people could go and get even more pissed at us for not having proper information available.

How old are you guys? Surely not as old as Napalm Death, that’s for sure. I’m more than just a little bit impressed by the longevity of that gang, both ex and current members. How ‘bout you?

We are all in our mid 20’s but I am jaded to the point of being a 60 year old man. I never go out and just sit in my room and hate life and everyone around me. Yeah, those napalm guys have held up pretty well for the age. Not the most handsome guys but they have held up.

I noticed, thanks to The Metal Archives, you have released a cute little thing called “Enemies of grind.” Not that I’ve listened to it. Care to explain what motivation lay behind that naming? Are you tired of do-gooders or are you pissed at shit like Goregrind and muck akin to it released in absurd numbers? I guess the lot, since you are so very pissed.

We are at war with whatever weak ass bands trying to pass themselves off as grind bands. I’m tired of technical, emo bands trying to act like they are playing grindcore. FUCK OFF!

Are any of you on drugs? No need to be ashamed, I’m a hashtard myself.

Just our lazy ass singer. All he does is sit around his house, smoke weed, get paranoid, and play video games. I don’t do any drugs because I am a elitist asshole.

If you read through the review I attached, you already know that I think the drums on “World extermination” are tuned a bit too high. A bit. Do you think I have a point, or should I go fuck myself?

Go fuck yourself! No, I agree. The Snare drum is a little high pitched but I think it needs to be that way to cut through all the muddy, low tuning shit we dude. If it wasn’t so high it would get lost in all the shitty bass frequencies we generate in a effort to disguise our awful riffing.

Anyway, as I tell in the review, I’m a fan of the mixing job, and now I wonder who did it, how much it cost, and how long it took to record. Did you beat Darkthrone?

We recorded the whole album in our drummer’s living room. He owns some recording equipment and we were able to record the whole thing in a matter of 2 or 3 days. I don’t understand how people spend months in the studio. I hate our songs enough but having to listen to them that much would make me kill myself.

What kind of record label is 625 Thrash, the most unknown ever? Anyway, I’d like to know if they do you good or if I should take the trip to gun paradise and whop their asses. Are they like paying the trip for you guys to Adelaide, Australia? (I happened to read your tour schedule) If so, congrats with a fucking decent label. You might meet at guy called Dave there, he’s a bit fat, and prolly wanna fuck yer sister, but he’s a good guy. I think.

Max from 625 is a good friend of mine. He releases all of our material because I trust him. He takes great care of us though we pay for all of our expenses. Its just easier that way. I don’t like owing people money. I’ll have to keep an eye out for this Dave character you speak of.

With violent music such as yours I have a hard time figuring your concert being cosy. What’s the smallest audience you have ever played for, and has there ever been a need to call an ambulance after one your shows. I’d like to see you live, that’s for fucking sure.

We rarely play shows because we are such antisocial pricks. We play like once a year in our hometown and we only play when touring is necessary. No ambulances have ever been called but we have had the plug pulled on us plenty of times for being too noisy and almost destroying the sound equipment with our harsh frequencies.

I want the top 5 reasons (or 10 if you have the hate to go) why humanity should be eradicated, or at least profoundly trimmed. Like a nice fucking hairdo. Spit out yer hate, please.

1. People are shit. 2. People take up space in MY world. 3. People waste MY time. 4. People take MY money. 5. People breathe MY air.

People should die.

Are you afraid of bug disinfectants? We have some lethal shit called Radar, think it’s manufactured in Sweden, and I used it with great effect on some very small, yet utterly annoying flies here a couple of months ago. It would be labeled genocide if flies had newspapers and shit. But as we know, they are shit dealers through and through.

Nah, I like bug disinfectants because they put pollution into the air. This is a good thing because it speeds along the process of mass world annihilation.

What’s yer favourite insect? Mine is the ant, fucking love those creatures. I wonder if ants would eat up a corpse lazed in sugar, or perhaps even bare. What do you think? On a related note I’d like to add that a great way to dispose of a body would be to sandblast it, provided you have some place to ditch the mass. It would certainly cloak up the drainage, something Dahmer would’ve agreed if he were still among us. Bless his soul.

Ants are very brutal and militaristic but I prefer roaches because they live in their own shit.

Name the 5 best albums no one has heard. “World extermination” would be on my list, and that’s a compliment.

Thanks! Not sure if people have heard these or not but they are still my favorites. Here is my list: Rusted Shut “Rehab” LP, Slime in the Nose of Texas EP, Stark Raving Mad self-titled LP, Splattereah live 7” EP, Tractor demo.

I’m a member of one of the few worthy societies on the retardnet, Last.fm, and some cunt there has tagged you as “false grind”. I therefore assume you guys to have some enemies, do you enjoy making enemies? I’m not making a sport of it, but when I’m on the job I do it thoroughly.

We have tons of enemies. When you are as big assholes as we are you are bound to piss a few people off. I don’t give a fuck, I talk to my friends and the rest can eat shit.

Name the 5 worst pieces of crap grind bands ever to violate their instruments.

Fuck, put Insect Warfare in all 5 positions. I’m an asshole but I’m not going to name names because I’ve already been in a few fights because of that shit. I’m an asshole but I am no Seth Putnam.

How long does it take you to think of a person you could kill in cold blood, not even losing 5 minutes worth of sleep for?

Grim question, but I have a few people on my enemies list that I wouldn’t mind seeing erased from the world.

Have you ever sat down thinking: “fucking hell, I need a hug”? It’s hard being hard, I know from long experience. Oh, Chuck Norris is my father, forgot to mention it me thinks. He fucking rules in “Side-kicks”, not to talk about “Octagon”.

HA! “Side-kicks” was filmed in my city and my friend was a stand in actor for that movie. Fuck needing hugs. That shit is for wimps.

We Norwegians are retarded in that way that we always want to know what foreigners think about our shit, I think it is called an inferior complex. It has gone a bit far lately though, the Southern Europeans now fucking “our” women for most of the summers. But that’s not the point. What I want to know is whether you are familiar with our metal scene or not. If yes, give me the top 5 bands. If not, fuck you.

Norwegian metal? I didn’t know you asshole had bands. Shit, Darkthrone is from there right? That first death metal LP they did is good. I’m not sure, enlighten me.

I promise you, that’ll be the last list I’ll throw at ya during this interview. I’ve gotten complaints about not including them in my interviews, so I found the time right for overkill. Do you like the band Overkill, by the way?

Yeah, Overkill fucking rules. The vocals make my spine cringe, which is a good thing.

Are you guys veggies, like Cattle decapitation? If so, do you consider it ok to eat roadkill? Talking about Cattle Decapitation, the cover for “Humanure” is a classic, but the one adorning the front of “World extermination” isn’t exactly cum splattered on a piece of paper either. Who did it, and is it possible that he/she will do work for others as well? If so, leave an address.

NO! We all eat meat. Well, except our wimp ass bass player. I used to be a vegetarian a few years ago, but then I remembered how good meat tasted. Our friend Daniel Shaw does all of our artwork. He is a incredible black and white artist. He can be reached at shaw.illustrations@gmail.com

You must listen to Birdflesh and their “The ultimate mosh” release. Grab Jigsore Terror while you are at it, “World end carnage” slays. Here you can thank me.

I own both of those records and they do slay! “World End Carnage” is heavy as shit. I was actually listening to it yesterday morning before I went to work.

Which religion do you hate the most, Christianity or Islam? I’m so full of it that I puke venom at both. Give this a thought. If you are like a little enlightened you know Muslims don’t eat pigs, and that’s cause they see it as a filthy animal. Strange then that they eat birds a plenty, hens, chickens and shit, the world leading spreader of diseases. Good point, ey?

I hate all religion. Fuck relying on that mythology bullshit to explain things that science could explain for you. I actually caught west nile virus from a dead bird in my front yard. True story. I was sick for 14 days til I got proper treatment and antibiotics. Fuck the pestilence.

Do you think I’m smart? Please say yes, ‘cause I have a very small penis.

Well, people with very small penises usually must be smart because they would not survive in the world any other way. If you have a big dick in this world you got it made!

Have you been checking out the site (GD) after I approached you with a request for this fine interview? If so, tell me what you think. If not, fuck you.

The site is great! Actually, I’m just saying that because I believe it is good to kiss the ass of the person interviewing you. I wish our shitty website looked as good as yours. Maybe people could find information on us easier. Ah, fuck that.

I’m running out of questions here, so I’ll leave it for you to end it in a great way. Stay hard, cunts.

Thank YOU for the interview. Everyone else can fuck off.

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