### Ahab: Chris Hector

#### 09/02/09 || Daemonomania

Ahab. Ohhhh yeahhhhh. Their 2006 release, “The Call of the wretched sea”, is quite simply a monster of a funeral doom album. If you’re even remotely interested in music that moves slightly faster than molasses uphill in the Fimbul winter, you need to get it. And you heard it here first, they got a new behemoth coming out in no time. Guitarist, funnyman, and apparently lyricist Chris Hector graciously and speedily replied to some of my most idiotic questions yet. Enjoy.

Global Domination: Welcome to Global Domination, the only metal website that is strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a tranny. Have you heard of us before, and are you happy to be here?

Chris: Well, never heard of you guys. ;-) But I guess you should be the one to be happy, for you got the first interview concerning our new album, which will be recorded from February on.

You’re the guitarist, correct? Congrats on laying down some riffs that sound like a white whale is coming right out of your pants.

How might that sound?

It’s always nice to see a metal band take inspiration from literature, and you guys are clearly fans of Mr. Melville. However, Moby Dick does seem to be getting referenced pretty frequently these days. Are you going to stick with the same lyrical inspiration for the rest of your output?

Actually yes and no. We’ll interpret the true story of the wreckage of the Essex written by Owen chase and Thomas Nickerson. I’m just about to finish the lyrivs based on the two books. This story inspired Melville to write his novel “Moby Dick”. So, in a way, we stick to the theme. Still the story begins, where Moby Dick ends. It’s an extreme story about the worst human calamities like hunger and thirst. It results in the seamen eating their shipmates. We try not to describe the odyssey of Captain Pollard and his crew in a gory way, but respectful and in a “true” way. I think this story is even more interesting than Moby Dick to be honest – as this is no fiction.

Ahab seems to have gotten an almost universally positive response to the killer “The Call of the Wretched Sea.” Were you surprised by all the acclaim? Has the album gone platinum yet?

Sure, we were pretty surprised by the reactions. Still do not think we sold tens of thousand albums! Ahab is still an underground band.

Is it true that a drummer in a funeral doom band can hit the kit, walk away for a few minutes (take a dump, drink a beer, etc.) and then amble back over in time for the next drum roll?

Maybe yes – at least in some bands. But I think you’re referring to Drone Doom – that’s why most of the drummers get pretty shitfaced during a gig. Unfortunately our drummer has to play way too fast doublebass-party (actually faster than the ones with his tech death band). You see. No beer for Cornelius ;-)

What’s your opinion on the TV, film, and music career of your countrymate David Hasselhoff? Do you agree that you shouldn’t hassle the hoff?

How dare you to call him countrymate. He’s American as far as I know. He’s rather a mate of Manowar in his nice underpants. I guess this fits also better musically. I guess he was a great musical inspiration for the non-whimps and non-posers of Manowar. So maybe they should hassel the hoff together. Oops, did I say something bad about Manowar now? I’m so extremely sorry!

GD Note: Whoops, I thought the Hoff was German. My apologies. I guess because he is huge in Germany and Austria, I assumed – but made an ass of u and me.

Speaking of your countrymates, how about that fucking Hans Gruber, huh? Why couldn’t he just leave Bruce Willis the fuck alone?

Who the heck is Hans Gruber? Never heard of him. If you refer to any of the Willis-Action-films: I’m not into boring, un-inspired action-movies. Captain Ahab would kick Willis’ ass off his ship. Willis might be of interest for the brave knights and great men of Manowar – oops, I did it again…

I see that you and the vocalist were in a couple of bands together beforehand that weren’t very funeral or very doom. Care to comment about them?

Well, Penetralia was the first band I got a contract with. So this was a great time. Midnatsol was also cool times – for we played quite big festivals for the first time. Also Chris Merzinsky, Daniel Fischer and Birgit Öllbrunner got real close friends. Unfortunately I don’t have that much contact with Carmen and Daniel Fischer anymore. Carmen lives in Norway – so it’s hard anyway to keep contact.

Okey doke. As per usual, I’d like you to give me a rating on the below five bands, from a one to a ten. Then, if the band were a part of the body, say what part of the body that would be. For example:

Grave: 8 – The scrotum.

Now it’s your turn…

Evoken: 8 would be the eyes, they sound to some extent like a pretty dark movie.

Kraftwerk: 8 would be the brain, for they invented something new and still are special. I own some of their CDs.

Skepticism: 8 would be my hair, which I use often to hide myself during concerts. I’m not too much in playing live. Great band!

Amon Amarth: 6 would be the mouth – for it’s okay to drink beer, while seeing them on a festival. Not too much into this band. But Johan is a real nice guy!

Rammstein: 4 would be the middle finger, cause they are a so much discussed band. Actually I like their image – cause they provoke and used to be left winged punks. The music is okay but i wouldn’t buy a CD or listen to them at home.

Frank Sinatra: 8 Frank would be the face – he was a great entertainer and wrote some really great songs!

We make fun of Germany a lot here on GD, and we’re kinda feeling ashamed about it all of a sudden. However, I have to ask: have you, or anyone you know, ever eaten their faeces while being filmed?

No, but it’s said about the village I come from we would eat cats, which is just a bad lie of course. But you don’t have to be ashamed, cause most of your beers taste like cat’s piss. It’s not your fault. You are just not able to brew good beer. So don’t be jealous!

I know, you’d like to have great beer, like we do over here. So maybe I sometimes drink that cat’s piss… ;-)

GD Note: Owch.

I’ve got this theory that all electronica is made by two German dudes in a bunker. They just give themselves different DJ names when the mood suits them. Can you confirm this suspicion?

Well no. I know Rudy Ratzinger of :Wumpscut: and he’s just one guy, who is copied by two others. The guys in that bunker you mean are actually Austrian. They try to make money out of Rudy’s music.

I see in your band picture that there are only three of you, yet it seems like there are four guys in the band. Did someone have to walk the plank?

Yes, actually Stephan Adolph had to. The new ones are Cornelius Althammer (drums) and Stephan “Norz” Wandernoth (bass).

Oh yeah, how awesome is the film version of Moby Dick with Gregory Peck? I see you sampled it.

Pretty awesome.

This interview is going all over the place. If you were Captain Ahab, what would you do to rein it in?

You’d first scrub the deck and afterwards make lunch. It’s just about time for lunch! Don’t forget the rum, worm!

So let us in on some of your favourite friends from the funeral doom genre. The more obscure the better.

Well, My Shameful are cool guys. Say “hi” to them from us! I’ve been in contact with Tyranny by mail. Also Anders Eeek from Funeral and Fallen is a really cool and impressive musician. Talking about Obscure: Sinistra is a really dedicated and weird (sorry, mate) guy and Linus from Beneath The Frozen Soil is a good guy as well!

Do you ever tour? Any chance of coming to the United States? By ship?

No, no plans yet for the US – too much Manowars, Hasselhoffs and Willises. ;-) But we’ll tour Germany this September if everything works out.

I’ll bet that people don’t play much doom at funerals. Unless you were a really serious metalhead, and all of the mourners were too. Would you have metal blasting at your memorial service?

No. I’d rather play New Model Army. Funeral Doom is for the living!

So the obligatory question – are you working on a new album? Are their stormy seas or calm waters ahead for Ahab?

Stormy seas I guess. And sure, there’ll be a new album this year.

I’ve got a book you should read called The Terror. It’s about an Arctic expedition in the 1800’s that gets frozen in and terrorized by an Eskimo monster. Be honest with me – will you read it?

No – how would an Eskimo-monster look like? I don’t think this could be scary. And monsters don’t live in an iglu – do they? And I understood you’re a Hasselhoff, a Willis and a Manowar-fan. I got massive doubts about your taste, mate. Sorry! ;-)

Alright, last question. Hope you had fun – in the most funereal, doomtastic way possible. Your last words, before we batten the hatches and hoist the mizzenmast?

Live slow, die old!

Cheerio, Chris