### Burzukh: Orion

#### 30/01/08 || Kampfar

A couple of days ago I got this reminder:

Long time ago I sent a link to my self-released album’s download, will it be reviewed?

Here is my answer:

Yes, it is a long time ago, Mr. Ali, but after listening to your piece of nonsense I wish you never did. Your album should be banned from the net.

I used to think one of the greater aspects of metal to be the fact that you’ll find bands in close to every country provided it has electricity installed. However, to my extended experience, the more exotic a band is, (in this case, Pakistani) the crappier they are, so I’d like to use this moment to piss on my previous statement and those still thinking so. Please join in.

Metal is best played by whitey’s, white thrash, crackerasses, ghosts, infidels, give us the whole book, we don’t care, as it doesn’t change the fact.

Then a question appears, and it goes like this: is it even right to label this unfocused muck as metal? Yes, I’m afraid so, but an even more apt description would be intangible blob of unfocused retardation. I sure as hell wouldn’t know the first thing about which direction or what the hell Mr. Ali had in mind when recording them here abominations dressed up as songs, admittedly with a riff or two not infected by A.I.D.S, but overall just sad.

The drum machine/programming is horrid, the guitar thinner than Kate Moss after a two week diet on nothing but coke and Pete Doherty’s stale cum, and, as mentioned, the songwriting with less direction than a fly with its wings ripped off. The vocals, well, they aren’t ace either. I do not feel a need to vomit as long as he keeps it raspy but as soon as he do his gayer than David Hasselhof thing, which is most of the time, nausea is the only alternative.

This is a shitfest, yes mistress, but slightly less so when Mr. Ali roughs it up a bit, which isn’t often. I know Peter Steele is depressed and shit but if he had heard “Goth machi,” a song clearly inspired by Type O Negative, I’m sure he would have taken the final step, tied the slipknot if you like. Or not, what the fuck do I know? Shitty lots, but not like everything.

My only useful advice to Mr. Ali is this: buy a Dummies Guide On How To Attain Focus and then fucking concentrate on the “extreme parts” of your music. And yeah, whoever made the cover-art is responsible for the highlight of this album.

I once saw a picture of a Pakistani with Down’s Syndrome and he looked exactly like the Norwegian variant, though browner of course.

Look at me, I make sounds!

1,5 out of 10.

- Information
- Released: 2007
- Label: Grindworx
- Website: www.geocities.com/Burzukh
- Band
- Syed Suleiman Ali: Jack of all trades, master of none

- Tracklist
- 01. Orion
- 02. Death by starlight
- 03. Lying
- 04. Goth machi
- 05. Metamorphosis
- 06. Grover