### Monsterworks: The GOD album

#### 23/03/11 || Khlysty

Dear Lord – no, not YOU, you goshdarned Swede! – taketh this cup away from me. C’mon, now, whaddya say, huh? Make this a better record; no, not actually GOOD, just a bit better than it actually is, okay? What, Lord? WHAAAAAAAA???!!! Fuck you, Lord, very much!!! Thy will be done and all that shit, but from now on, wonder not why I’ll slaughter babies, drink their blood and make black candles from their fat, right-o? No, no, don’t you fuckin’ DARE give me that look! Let’s see you take this shit AND write a decent review about it and THEN try to tell me that I’m wrong. Bastard.

Okay, Lord – yes, this time I’m talking to you, you Ikea-munching Swede. Now it’s the goddamn time to tell labels to, at least, TRY and avoid sending us shitty records. “The GOD album”, my ass. This ain’t no GOD album; this is what would happen if a mediocre thrash band tried to insert to its sound Tool-isms and that hateful “nu-american-metal” sound. And lotsa “soulful” leads. And, have I ever told you how much I hate “soulful” leads? Or, generally speaking, leads? The only thing that I hates the more is the tessies-in-vice vocals and, guess what? The record’s filled to the brim with ‘em.

Oh, and I also hate prog-isms. I mean, Tool has already depleted whatever interest there’s to be found in stealing early Genesis or Jethro Tull and slathering everything stolen with “heavy” guiters and brootal vocals. Then, there came Opeth, upped the ante in “progressive” tendencies (read: pretentiousness) and, so, what’s left for poor, poor Monsterworks to work from? Huh? HUH? Nuthin’, that’s what’s left. And, seeing as these guys don’t have a bit of Tool’s self-conscious pretentiousness, or anything else, I have to endure something that tires me. A lot. And, I’m already quite a bit tired.

I won’t even touch the supposed theological arguments of the record. I really don’t give a flying opossum if these guys really researched their subject matter or not. I don’t like the record, I don’t like the songs, I don’t like the artwork, I don’t like the intertwining of different styles and ideas. I find them boring and lame. Bottom line: I don’t like this record. I find it an endurance test and I’m not in the mood for such things right now. Or ever. Please, guys, at the labels, send us something worthwhile, okay…?

- Information
- Released: 2011
- Label: Casket Music
- Website: www.supermetal.net
- Band
- Jon: vocals, guitar
- Marcus: lead guitars
- Hugo: bass
- James: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Everything You Believe is a Lie
- 02. Monomythic
- 03. Reprieve
- 04. The Enemy of My Enemy
- 05. Origin
- 06. False Miracle
- 07. God
- 08. Let It Go
- 09. (Hymn of) Fire