### Mylein, Diarrhea Till You Die, The Funeral Pyre, Apiary, Vale Of Pnath, 2007-10-16

#### 24/10/07 || Global Domination

This review was written by ex-staffer/cocksmoker Seker.

Venue: The Kingdom of Doom Where: Denver, CO When: October 18th, 2007 Country: The United States of America

GD note: Since we have no photos from this actual event, we’ll just put a photo of a leprechaun here.

So, this was my first show in a while. In fact, it was my first one this year! The venue, Kingdom of Doom (or Monkey Mania, as it used to be called), is absolutely perfect for seeing underground bands, in my opinion. It’s small, about three or four times the size of my dorm room, and everything is right on the same level, so you’re pretty much on-stage with the band, as there is no clear-cut division between stage and pit. The acoustics are surprisingly good; I’ve been to much bigger and fancier places that all sounded like ass compared to Monkey Mania. I’m definitely going to more concerts here, I tell you what! (Got any questions about propane, etc, etc…)

I didn’t really know about any of the bands playing until my friend sent me an email with links to the various MySpaces. I took one listen to The Funeral Pyre’s “The Last Breath of Man” (from their 7” split with Leech entitled “The First Book of the Kings) and instantly fell in love with their unique brand of melancholic blackened death metal. Since the show only cost five dollars or something, I figured I didn’t have any reason not to attend, and so I caught I ride with my friend to the show around 6:30 on Tuesday night. We listened to Massacra on the way, so I’ll give that ride a 7 out of 10 because Massacra are fucking awesome.

We got there around eight or so, just in time to see Diarrhea Till You Die. Now, my friend Chase plays in a post-metal/Isis/whatever-the-fuck-you-call-that-genre-with-the-really-long-songs band called Falling Into with some of the members of Diarrhea, so we hung out with them for a while and listened to Morbid Angel’s “Blessed are the Sick” for a while. I give that album a 10, which is coincidentally the weight in metric tons of their bass amp. Seriously, that thing was pretty fucking heavy.

Eventually, it was time for the first band, Mylein, to go on. From what I could tell, they were some kind of metalcore or deathcore or peniscore or something; whatever the fuck they were, it definitely wasn’t my style of music. They went on stage Pig Destroyer style (i.e. guitar plugged into a bass amp), as they didn’t have a bassist. As one would expect, the sound was really loud and muddy, which is usually pretty cool, but I could barely tell what was going on. The singer kept pulling the mic cable out by accident, and he knocked over the mixing board thingamajig a few times as well. He also kicked a piano (no, really) a few times and did a bunch of rather silly-looking hardcore dancing all over the place. There was one cool song that started out with a long instrumental part that sort of sounded like Neurosis, but then it turned into metalcore again and I turned my ears off. Like I said, not my kind of music. 5 breakdowns in da pit out of 10. Oh yeah, the singer did that whole “I wanna see everyone’s hands in the air” thing. The fuck is up with that? Total jumpdafuckup horseshit, if you know what I mean.

Next was Diarrhea Till You Die, who sounded nothing like I expected them too. I was thinking they were more of a grind band, and they did have a pretty heavy grind influence, but they really sounded like a mix of Pelican’s really epic atmosphere with a punk version of At the Gates circa Slaughter of the Soul. They definitely ripped shit up live, thoroughly blowing Mylein out of the water. They would mix in weird little funk interludes, which were kinda funny, and during a particularly long one, the lead singer started doing this weird ska dance thing while maintaining a completely straight face. It was absolutely glorious, and the crowd couldn’t help but join in, whether they were dancing, headbanging, or hairspinning. Also, the singer got a nosebleed from running around and headbanging so much about halfway through the set, and in the grand spirit of metal, he just kept going! He had blood all over his face and everything; it was pretty brutal. If you ever get a chance to see these guys live, go for it. You won’t be disappointed; I personally give them 9 coprophagiacs out of 10. They even baked a cake for Monkey Mania’s owner! A metal cake, of course. I obviously made sure to get their demo after the show, and hopefully my review of it is either already up on the site or will be soon.

Up next was the band that I had gone there to see: California black/death metallers The Funeral Pyre. Now, usually black metal sounds like shit live, from what I can tell, but there are some exceptions to that rule: Dark Funeral, Enslaved, and now, this band come to mind as the most obvious examples. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a band with such a perfect sound at a gig before. I could easily discern all of the guitar and keyboard intricacies, but the bass had a nice “Nightside Eclipse” reverb thing going on. I told you that this place had good acoustics! They played quite a few songs, most of them off of their latest album, “The Nature of Betrayal”. They also did a surprisingly brutal run-through of “The Last Breath of Man” (from that split 7”, if you had forgotten), as well as a brand new song, which interestingly enough was the highlight of their set. It seems that these Californians get better with each album!

Before you start panicking, no, they’re not some suicidal bullshit black metal band like all of the trendy stuff coming out of California right now. Their sound is best described as rather melancholic and melodic black metal, with inventive keyboard usage. Whereas most bands either put keyboards right at the forefront or use them only for ornamentation, The Funeral Pyre’s melodies are based around guitar-keyboard interplay. Also, unlike many black metal bands, they use a piano sound most of the time, rather than a choral effect. This gives the music an added neoclassical flavor, as graceful yet morbid keyboard melodies entwine with somber melodic guitar riffs.

Obviously, being purveyors of rather more poised material than the previous two bands, the band members didn’t exactly thrash around on stage, but really, a super energetic and dynamic live show wouldn’t fit their music at all. This doesn’t mean that they didn’t have any stage presence; on the contrary, they were quite a sight to behold live: the guitarists did some rather impressive hairspinning, their vocalist bestrode the stage like a colossus, and their keyboardist did this really cool thing where she sort of leaned over and let her hair fall down in front of her face while she was playing. I don’t know why, but that just looked really grim. That’s not to say that they were completely humorless; during one of the quieter instrumental sections, the vocalist turned around and began to conduct the band, using his finger as a baton.

I obviously enjoyed the band quite a bit, and let me tell you, Chase and I ran to their merch table the second that they left the stage. They had a lot of shirts, as well as their two albums and the Split 7”. I ended up buying their latest album and a hoodie with some boar skull designs on it for thirty dollars. Really, what’s up with bands charging like seventy bucks for a sweatshirt nowadays? From now on, I’m only going to local shows, that’s for sure. Well, after the Naglfar/Dark Funeral show on Monday anyways… actually, I might have to see Enslaved in December too… fuck it, I’m still going to big shows, but I’m only buying hoodies at small ones. Of course, you don’t really need more than one hoodie, but uh… whatever. Anyway, I give The Funeral Pyre’s live show an 8.5 out of 10. Also, I got two free buttons for my denim vest! Cheers to The Pyre for that, and for pretty much clearing all the scene kids out of the club. Apparently, no one told them that black metal doesn’t have breakdowns!

The next band was Apiary, another metalcore band, so I decided to skip that one and go forage for food with Chase and one of the members of Diarrhea Till You Die (who shall remain anonymous, unless he wishes to come forth). We had headed outside and started toward the 7-11 (which was quite a distance away, but we’re hardcore like that), when we were suddenly accosted by this huge guy in rainbow overalls carrying a cane. He demanded to know where we were going, and the Diarrhea guy told him (my friend and I were too dumbstruck to say much of anything). The dude then demanded to know if they had any hot wings, as apparently he really wanted some. His friend had informed him that a restaurant in the immediate vicinity served chicken wings, but no dice, apparently. He was really fucking pissed about that, and about pretty much everything else. By this time, we had inferred that he was blind, and he began shouting at us about how pissed he was about the whole ordeal, and informed us that he only had hotdogs at home, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to eat any fucking hotdogs, fuck no! Also, he really hated trying to get to sixteenth street, because they tore a building down and he had a hard time finding his way through the construction. He demanded that we go and find a city official to take care of that problem, and then he ordered us to go and retrieve some hot wings from the 7-11. The DTYD member said he would go and get some if the dude would give him money for it and wait like ten minutes, but this only served to enrage our new friend, who opened his dead, sickly eyes and started screaming and waving his cane at us. Apparently, he didn’t have any money or something; how he planned to buy hot wings, I have no idea. He was literally screaming at this point, and he sort of started to walk away (while still yelling). The band member (who was the only one who had actually talked to the guy) motioned to me, and then he took off across the street in a sort of 1950s tiptoe/run. I followed him, and looked back across the street at my friend. He was still next to the guy and sort of looking back and forth between us and the enraged blind man. Eventually, his brain snapped into place and he ran over to us.

We then proceeded to sprint over to 7-11, which was quite a few blocks away (we also almost got hit by a bus). When we got there, we each picked out our stuff and paid separately. While I was getting my change, I saw my two compatriots dash past the window. I looked outside, and the angry dude was RIGHT FUCKING THERE, and he was still yelling and waving his cane I yelled “Fuck!” and got the hell out of the store and ran back to Monkey Mania. When we got there, we told the others what had happened. Some laughed, some looked deeply offended, but a few grew slightly pale and said “Holy shit, I know that guy. He’s insane!” So, not only were we pursued by a crazy blind guy, but by a crazy blind guy with a bad reputation. The worst part is that the 7-11 didn’t have any hot wings from what I could see… I give that experience a 9 out of 10 on the holy-fucking-shit-I-mean-seriously-what-the-hell scale.

When we got back, Vale of Pnath were just warming up. For those who don’t read H.P. Lovecraft religiously, their name comes from the Dhole (a sort of giant wormlike creature) infested pit of bones that Randolph Carter is cast into by the Nightgaunts in The Dreamquest of Unknown Kadath . Great name for a death metal band, I think (it’s pronounced ‘nath, by the way). They were great live too, even though they only had one of their guitarists. Their brand of extremely technical death metal was quite interesting, and it matched the chaotic and morbid nature of their name perfectly. The singer had a lot of energy as well: he ran into the crowd a few times, and he also did this weird gargoyle-looking thing where he crouched on the floor and screamed into the mic. Hopefully, these guys will put out an album someday, as there aren’t many bands that can get a crowd going nuts that early in the morning. Really, Vale of Pnath’s well-composed music is a lot more interesting to listen to than the show-offy meandering of stuff like Necrophagist, and from what I saw, they give pretty much every famous techdeath band a run for their money in terms of sheer musicianship. 8 black goats with myriad dark spawn out of 10, and I heartily recommend that you check out The Funeral Pyre, Vale of Pnath, and Diarrhea Till You Die on their respective MySpaces.