### Ogrish.com - Danny

#### 12/05/03 || Lord K Philipson

No matter what the logo says, it should be changed to “Ogrish – We can’t handle interviews”. We give a Suck Our Cocks-award to the guy in charge for Ogrish, a site most of you have heard about. This piece of shit-interview was made a year ago, but I didn’t use it for anything as it’s really just that, a piece of shit. I thought we should use it for this site though to point out how extremely boring some people can be. Funniest thing is that he took a few months to reply to the damn questions, while looking at the effort put in, he could have done it while I was away taking a piss. Danny postponed this interview a lot of times but said he would do it as soon as he had the time… This must be one busy fucker considering his answers then…

Congratulations and thanx fucken loads Danny for not taking the time to do it, you could have fucken told us you didn’t wanna do an interview instead of pretending you wanted to, cock. Why the fuck do people accept to do interviews and then put NOTHING into it? Fucken absolutely beyond me… To spice this piece of cum up a bit, my comments are printed in italics after his eh… “answers”...

Here’s his mail, no correction of his typos of course:

“I quickly answered most of ur questions, sorry that they are so short man… i wanted to get it over with..good luck

/ Dan”

Good luck? Yeah, you can say that again. We need a fucken truckload of luck to get thru this interview without fucken dying of boredom…

Lord K Philipson: First off, thanx for taking the time to do this shit, but what’s the actual reason for doing it? I mean… You are not a fan of my band or anything. Yet, I might add.

Danny: I was in a good mood when you asked me to do the interview, so i said yes.

(I’m impressed, at least that seems like a fair enough reason. We are on a roll now people…)

I better get the 2 heavy questions out of the way fast so let’s get to it. Have you ever seen eel-porn?

Nope.

(At least he’s consistent with the piss-poor answers, as you will notice)

For quite some time I have been a regular visitor of yer site. The absurd fascinates and there’s nothing like getting up in the morning, tune in to Ogrish and feel the smell of some poor fucker being decapitated. What’s the worst thing you have included on the site so far, in yer opinion? Is there anything that made you think twice before putting it up? Not that it’s the most gruesome clips ever displayed on Ogrish or anything, but the 9:11 clips must have been a dilemma to put up so shortly after the event, or am I completely taking the wrong fucken train here?

Personally i find the chechnya videos the worse (throatslits). I’ve never had moral probs to put something on, if it’s gory and legal i’ll put it on.

(Let’s see here, that was so well formulated and thought-out I can’t believe it. I might also add that I’m not a frequent visitor of the site anymore)

A lot of the clips displayed holds death metal music, for obvious reasons. I take it you are into death metal, what’s some of yer fave-bands? Don’t forget to mention old Grave.

I like Meshuggah, slipknot, Napalm Death etc

(Hmm… what in the last sentence didn’t he see there? I’ll put it in bolds again for you… Don’t forget to mention old Grave. There, did you see it or should I draw and point?)

Who were first, you or the Traces Of Death series? I’m not even mentioning Faces Of Death. I see some of the stuff you provide us with are included on the Traces Of Death flicks. Do you guys know each other, are you the same fellas? What’s the rundown on this?

Nope we don’t know each other. Traces of Death was first:)

(And you are the last to be interviewed by us again)

Isn’t it about time you include some of The Project Hate’s music in a clip? I really think you should, not becoz I am in the fucken band, but becoz we dominate.

(He passed on this question. It might be becoz it’s a hard question to understand. Not that it made the answer any different to the rest of the interview)

Can you please say “Dr. Perky is a fucken fag and should be executed” in dutch?

Dr. Perky is een nicht en moet geexecuteerd woredn

(well, at least he got the essential part of the interview correct)

What are some of yer favourite-sites on the net, aside from yer business-partners already listed on Ogrish?

Goregasm.com, Jokedump.com, Rotten.com etc

(Hooooorrrayyy!!! At least one of them wasn’t listed on the site of his… The questions are way too hard…)

What´s the biggest hassle you have had so far concerning putting up the stuff you do put up? I have a feeling the Daniel Pearl video must be up there in the top somewhere.

Daniel Pearl definately caused some probs, I suggest you take a look at the press area on ogrish.

(I suggest you never answer an interview again)

The infamous “rusthroat” clip now… It seems like everyone have seen this one at one point or another. Do you have a story about this one, any background-info on it? The guy’s name perhaps? It’s definitely one of the more disturbing clips I ever saw, but still I can’t stop watching it out of pure fascination. Can this clip be the most disturbing piece you ever laid yer eyes on?

There’s an explanation somewhere on forum at ogrish

(Awesome, I´m fucken stunned. Is it a plane, is it a pile of shit? No, it´s an interview with Danny of Ogrish)

Only 20 more questions, are you hanging in there or are you bored shitless? – (No answer… Guess that speaks for itself, huh?)

Does “Ogrish” really mean anything? I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time actually…

Ogrish=Monster-like Creature that feeds on human flesh.

(Peter Forsberg is injured again… There’s just no way he’ll win the league in points now)

According to Alexa Tracker, your site is the 3996th most accessed site on the internet. Metallica’s site is the 13,994th. If you were a band, would that mean you’d sell more records than Metallica? What’s the secret to yer popularity and how in the fucken hell do you get so much traffic? What’s yer average hits per day?

40k daily uniques on ogrish (hitbox stats).

(Hit my fucken cock with a baseball bat, was that one complete sentence?)

Do you view running Ogrish as a hobby or a job? Seeing that you have basically daily updates and everything I think it must be a fulltime job even… Did you ever thing yer site would become this popular? How did it all start? Are you doing it all alone or are more people involved?

Hobby, I basically run the site on my own but lotsa people help me out by sending stuff

(When I think about it… Peter Forsberg was injured the whole last season as well, but came back to the play-off’s and dominated the shit, so there’s still hope I guess)

Please tell me you are into techno-music.. Is there a chance you’ll include some techno in some of the clips? That alone would make me check out the site even more often than I do now.

I’m totally into trance/dance music.

(Sweet! I dig all of those bands you mentioned, cock)

What’s yer take on all this bullshit in the comments-area when it comes to the clips? Everything is “fake” and “Ogrish sucks” and so on. If Ogrish sucks so much, why are these people still accessing it? Did you ever think of deleting the possibility to comment on the clips you put up? That alone would save some bandwidth for more lovely clips. Or maybe it wouldn’t.

I don’t really read it because It’ll get me frustrated…

(Colorado won last night against Tampa Bay, without Forsberg)

What does it cost you to run the site, let’s say per month? How do you finance it? I know there’s some advertising in there that should help a bit, but what does it really cost if, let’s say, I wanted my banner on the front-page?

It’s not cheap…bandwidth costs are high.

(Really? That much? Damn, that’s a load of cash)

What was the reason to start the sister-site Goregasm? I’m not too fond of this one and I think a lot of the stuff in there could be on the main-site. What’s the traffic for that one per day and do you think there’s a chance it’ll one day beat Ogrish in popularity? I think fuck no.

Gore and Porn is a good combination.

(You and interviews are not)

Have you ever had any e-mails or phone-calls, smoke-signals, anything, from a relative or friend to someone in a clip you have posted?

Yeah several times, i never decided to take anything down though.

(Damn, the new Machine Head album is quite a stinker)

What would you NEVER put up on the site?

illegal stuff.

(But the new Panzerchrist-album is not a stinker, that’s some great death metal for you people)

Are you impressed with this interview so far? If you want to, you can say “Lord K dominates” as many times as you want before we continue.

(LOUDER!!!!!!! I can’t fucken hear you. As you noticed, no reply to that question)

Your country Holland once held a great band called Gorefest. I´ll be utterly pissed if you tell me you never included a Gorefest tune in one of yer clips. What’s yer favourite-Gorefest song?

Not sure, might have included one in the past:)

(I never heard that one, what album is it from?)

Do you think you’ll ever top the “Rusthroat” clip? How much further in grotesque-ness can one actually go? What is single-handedly the one clip you want to get your hands on? The one you’d pay good money for to be able to put up on Ogrish?

Well Someday the Rusthroat will be topped, it’s a matter of time.

(You topped it right here and right fucken now Danny, with this interview. Your answers are way more grotesque)

6 more questions, are you still here? – (Impressive Danny, really impressive, cock.)

I have this love for Russian band Tatu, that alone must be worse than anything you ever put up. Seeing you have a lot of stuff from Chechnya (or howthefuckever it’s spelled) and Russia on the site, did you ever hear this band? If you want to I can send you the album.

Nah It’s cool, at the moment i’m pretty busy with various stuff.

(Is Kariya back on the ice yet?)

You know I have linked Ogrish from my band’s website? Do you think that’s the sole reason you have so many hits? Isn’t it time to return the favour so we actually get some fucken traffic on our site?

:)

(a smileyface… oh my fucken god… We haven´t seen the end of this yet… Needless to say, his link was removed some year ago from our site. And it won’t be going up again anytime soon.)

Seeing that Ogrish is all about death, if you were the Washington Sniper, who are some of the people you’d target?

I’m not a person with hate, noone deserves to be shot.

(Are 82 games in the pre-season too much?)

I have noticed that this site that I’m working for is mostly about music which brings me to the following question… Did you ever play an instrument? Were you ever in a band or something like that? Were you ever asked to join Gorefest?

Negative.

(Yes, everything is Danny. Everything about this one is fucken negative except for the excellent questions)

If you want, you can ask me something to round this fucker up. – (I’m speechless too…)

I thank you a lot for your time and shit. Is there anything you’d like to add that we might have missed out on? You can thank me for this brilliant interview too, while you are at it. Keep up the good work, make gore, not war! Hail Satan! – (And no reply, once again…)

Thanx, great ending Danny. Thanx for making the shittiest fucken interview I ever fucken saw. This is what you get for trying to help out and promote the site. Needless to say, the Ogrish link is no more on our site, it’s not like he needs the traffic anyways.

What a fucken wanker.