### Dave Patchett - Artist for Cathedral, Electric Wizard and so on

#### 19/07/13 || The Duff

Dave is a cantankerous, British artist who lives near me and terrorizes the children. He did artwork for Cathedral among other things. He would like everyone to know that he doesn’t wish to be misrepresented in this interview, misinterpreted, nor under-worshiped. He would also like everyone to know that he had sweet fuck nothing to do with Iron Maiden’s “Dance of Death” cover, as that artwork was horribly shitty. Dave is a lovely man, really.

Global Domination: Can you tell us how long you have been painting for, your background, possibly your influences, and how you would describe your artwork throughout the years, its development as a style.

Dave Patchett: Since 1986. Ex Coventry dustman. Surreal. Minor technical developments.

What do you think of bold, revolutionary and brilliant artists like Pollack, Yemen.

Never heard of Yemen. I don’t bother with the 98% pretentious Art Scene. But Pollack made good wallpaper designs (For a self destructive, wife abusing unconscious wanker and virtual murderer).

Your initiation into the metal circles was with the first Electric Wizard album cover. Can you tell us the story behind that?

Wrong! I’d done at least three Cathedral albums before E.W came along. That work for Electric Wizard was Lee Dorian’s idea and they are friends of his and were with Lee’s Rise Above Records.

When you were approached by Lee Dorian of Cathedral. What made him come to you?

He saw my paintings in a Coventry Exhibition.

Tell us about your past works with Cathedral – which albums have you painted the covers for, and tell us a little about each work, an anecdote possibly to accompany.

All of them. I’m not doing anecdotes today. Or tomorrow. And there may not be any!

What inspires you to paint, and is it related at all to the music they play, or do you do your own thing?

For me it’s not even related to the music. It’s a collaboration with Lee. His big idea is always attractive.

Does the band approach you at all to give you ideas?

See above.

Has it been an amicable relationship thus far? Are you sad to see them go?

They are still alive and well, as far as I know.

Are you a fan of any of their work? Are you treasured by their fans at all?

I’m a fan of their taste in art. I like half a dozen tracks, the ones where they play lyrical music. They, fans, seem to leave me alone. And I’m happy with that.

What would you say to all the DP fans out there, if you had the chance? Do you keep abreast of their opinions of you?

I’d say ‘Grow and develop and abuse the lying propaganda that surrounds us all’ That’s what I say to everyone.

Why do you think your most recent Cathedral collaboration was not used as the official front cover to the new record?

Because I was too busy with my theatre group to give the project more than a month.

If I may speak frankly, I think it is my favourite piece of yours next to “The Guessing Game”; the scope of imagination is staggering, and yet it is still very identifiably a Patchett piece – to have had a doorknocker in place of it appears a disservice to you and the artistic world as a whole. Are you not upset?

No, given my lack of total commitment, I was lucky to get half of the total commission.

What do you think of the new Cathedral album, and how do you think it measures up to their past discography?

I haven’t got round to listening to it yet.

Are you into the metal scene at all?

Yes. I like gold best.

Tell us about your current projects; do you paint for any other bands than Cathedral?

No. These days I like to spend more time writing, acting the fool and playing golf.

Tell us of your life outside of painting. You are a prolific writer, is that not correct? What is your topic matter? Where do you perform?

Any topic. Open Mike’s.

(We assume he meant “Mic” here, and not the infamous gay club in Brighton)

You take a great interest in politics, which perhaps contradicts your very free, imaginative artworks. Do you think the members of Cathedral are politically conscious?

The contradiction is in the mind of the questioner. What’s the point of having an imagination if you don’t put it to good use because you don’t believe improvement or don’t know what’s going on in this very stupid world. Cathedral I don’t know. But Lee Dorian is an Anarchist. And, whatever that means, I do not understand its usefulness. Sometimes it seems to me to be an excuse to do very little, or less.

Which bands or artists do you believe suit your political movement the most, and why? Have you approached them about doing their artwork?

None really. Was Trotsky in a band?

What is your take on religion?

It’s overwhelmingly insane and proves that most people are crazy. I go further and detest all the main religions as they are extremely harmful to us, they are necessarily opposed the development of reason and intelligence. They have all been invented to help the ruling elite to control and stupefy their less fortunate subjects.

Do you think you are giving atheists a bad name, adopting a similar dogmatic lifestyle as those you claim to rebel against?

How can Atheists even have a bad name. They are not Atheists they are just people, and in the one detail that they can be separated from the other people, they are 99% sure to be simply, right. My lifestyle is not dogmatic. But my ideas are fully developed and can easily be seen as ‘Dogmatic’ especially by fully media trained soft boys who think that nebulous fence sitting is the fashionable way to be.

What do you think of Jesus?

I could write a book on this. Nothing is certain. Except that the truth is a million miles from the ‘Paulian’ fabrications of the Gospels. He existed. He was strictly human. He considered himself to be Royal. He was crucified, but perhaps not successfully, by the Romans for endangering the state in trying to assume his Kingship. If you want to know him, study James, one of his several brothers. James ran the Early Church for thirty years in Jerusalem. Jesus belonged to the same Jewish Nazarene Sect as John the Baptist. These are my best guesses. I’ll stop there.

You appear to share similar views as Slayer and Immolation on our Lord and Saviour; would you agree? Do the lyrics to “No Jesus, No Beast” ring true to you? Here they are:

No Christ… no cross No pain… no loss No wanton guilt for us to bear No body… no blood No crown… no thorns No bastard son, no chosen one

Sorry you’ve lost me.

Or perhaps “Behind the Crooked Cross”?

Nope. Sorry.

What did you eat today?

A trivial apple pie.

What do you plan on doing tomorrow?

Playing 18 holes.

You play golf. What is your handicap?

I don’t belong to an actual golf club. I would guess it at about 24.

Are you handicapped? Mentally?

Yes I’m handicapped by being isolated in my sanity.

Dave, thank you so much for your time. Is there anything you would like to add?

Cinnamon.