### Birdflesh: Smattro Ansjovis

#### 04/04/08 || Kampfar

Ehm, if you need a proper introduction to this band, I suggest you visit their homepage, a pretty good one at it.

Global Domination: What drugs were you one when coming up with yer shitty moniker? I have a better one: Birdflu.

Smattro Ansjovis: You will never be forgiven. We were on regular painkillers at the time we came up with the name. Yes, Birdflu is better. But it’s too late now.

“Night of the ultimate mosh” is a fantastic piece of grind, so good I just put it on, and I’ve noticed that the ones bothering to give it a go, assuming they have a knack for the crack, thinks likewise. So, how many of that did you sell? 12 copies? If so, who distributed it, your local drug-dealer?

I don’t know exact how many copies has been sold. All I know is that it’s sold out at the moment. I hope it will be re-pressed like the “Alive Autopsy/Trip to the grave” CD has been. So around 2000 copies maybe. You like drugs huh?

Yeah, and I liked “Mongo musicale” as well but found it a tad weaker than your “debut”. More than a tad, but still very far from being a bad album. What I missed was madness such as “Dance on the frozen desert”, a song obviously inspired by Macabre’s lunacy. Talking about the crazed Americans, which of their albums do you like the most? I’m a “Dahmer” man, on second I have “Murder metal”. My guess is you dig “Sinister slaughter” the most.

I totally agree. “Mongo Musicale” has its Bird classics but not like the “Night” album. We have been very inspired by Macabre in the past. Especially in the beginning. I don’t listen to their new stuff but “Gloom” and “Sinister Slaughter” pops on now and then.

Is there a new Birdflesh piece in the pipelines? A full-length I mean, not splits.

Yes! A new album will be recorded later this year. We have over 30 new songs that will kill everyone with brutal pain. The album will be out on Obscene Productions.

Speaking of splits, how many have you participated on? And, to your opinion, which is the least worst? I’d also like to know how many you’ll participate on in 2008.

I think it’s around 8 splits. I like the split with Carcass Grinder most. It has a really nice old-school feeling. Also the split with Splatterhouse is cool. We have one split to do but I’m not sure with who yet.

What was the name of the parrot creaking in Hatebeak? I ask you guys for the sole reason you did a split with this horrid “band” once. I laughed, oh yes, but it was of course very shitty.

I forgot the parrot’s name. Relapse wanted to do a birdsplit with two birdbands. That’s the reason. Relapse is a great label so we did a sell-out.

I’m very informed, so I’m also aware Jigsore Terror is 2/3 Birdflesh. Now, give me some information regarding that band/project. Is there something brewing under its moniker? Please say yes, as “World end carnage” is nothing short of a fantastic album. “NOTUM” and “WEC” makes sure I do love you guys (a bit).

Yes, you are very informed. Well, nothing is happening in the Jigsore posse. I have like two new songs but I don’t think that’s enough for another album, he he! But hopefully we will do another album in the future. Cool that you like it.

Are you frequently doing gigs, or are you more of a freakshow called upon on special occasions?

We aren’t playing live so often really. I hope we will do more when the new album is out. A small tour is planned in October. We have a new bassplayer so we are rehearsing new songs with him at the moment. When the album is recorded we will rehearse old songs and start looking for shows.

Who in the band got the biggest penis?

Achmed.

What is the better show, South Park or The Simpsons? Oh, I’d like to add that I think of you as a retard if you vote for the latter.

I prefer Family Guy.

What would be the funniest way imaginable to conduct genocide? Mustard gas mixed with laughing gas is my suggestion.

The whole world’s population just jumped from the edge of the earth.

To escape the reality of this shitty world I at times dive into the world of gaming, at least now that I’ve watched all episodes of Top Gear, and at the current time I’m doing a game called Bioshock. It is quite awesome, sick too, and I wondered if you are familiar with it?

I recognize Top Gear. Isn’t that an old Nintendo game? Bioshock? Hmm, don’t know… I only play FIFA.

So, are you into reading books? If so, be sure to check out “The world according to Garp”.

I only read erotic novels. That I wrote myself.

Since I’ve derailed into fucking entertainment, I might as well ask if you have watched Rambo IV yet. I have, loved it. Apart from the boat scene being all too long I have nothing but praise for this flick, especially loved the guy who got an arrow straight in the eye. Oh, also loved the head explosions.

Actually I saw Rambo this weekend. I had a laugh. Yeah, the explosions and bloodshed were awesome. Now I’m looking forward to Indiana Jones.

Please do elaborate if movies are of an interest to you, as we have quite some film nerds around these parts. Me? I’m sorry to report that I have watched more porn than actual movies. Sure is pathetic, and not only that, it is bit of an emo thing to say as well.

I like films. All kinds really. Everything from comedies to horror to drama. If you have watched more porn than real movies, it IS pathetic. Or maybe you just don’t know that you have seen more real movies. Watching porn is emo? So you put emotions into it also? Scary…

Speaking of emo, is HIM the worst band currently being spoken of? I sure have heard worse bands no one cares to do mention of, but this lot is after all quite well known. Nightwish is of course a hot contender to this dubious title.

HIM is far from being the worst band. They have done some pretty good songs in the past I think. I mean, they put their music in the first place. There are so many bands that have this emo image and their music suck. But I don’t care about them at all.

So, I reckon you are big fans of suicidal black metal? Or not. Have you ever thought of ridiculing such bands or are you afraid they will hunt down and kill you and your family? I know that isn’t a very suicidal thing to do, but please bear with me.

I like some black metal. As for the emo bands, I don’t care about if they have suicidal image or whatever they do. As long as I like the music, they’re ok. It takes too much time to bother about bands that you don’t like.

How would you rate the average metal-fan? Give them an out of 10 score.

10. Metal is raw.

I interviewed a band named Insect Warfare a time ago, and the dude, as they are called in America, did love you guys. Both Birdflesh and Jigsore Terror. I would like you to take a listen to “World extermination”, if not already familiar, and tell me what you think. Sure is a pissed lot this, love ‘em.

Ok, I will check them out.

How much better is this interview than the ones you are used to answering? Compared to the 2 or 3 you have done before I mean. Pass judgment on our site while you are at it; though be sure to read more than the review done on Metallica’s “Black album” before doing so.

It was fun to answer your stupid questions. I don’t know if you are stupid for real or if you are 13 years old, but I had a good time answering. Thanks for doing this.

I have nothing more to ask of you, thanks for the effort. Much appreciated.

No worries. Be aware of our new album, out on Obscene sometime later on. Cheers!