### Fuck You (aka FAQ)

#### 01/01/06 || Global Domination

Q: Who are you guys?

A: Well, we are Domination in its purest form. As you can gather from the information about the staff we come from pretty much everywhere in the world. That’s what makes us “global”. Or at least that’s how shit turned out in the end. We were dominating globally even before all these fucken retards joined the staff. You should be able to figure out who runs this place without thinking too much. We wish you luck. You’ll need it. Bitch.

Q: How long has www.globaldomination.se been around?

A: Since the dawn of time. But we didn’t really feel like writing much until a few years ago. And as you can imagine, the world’s become a much better place with us polluting it.

Q: What are you trying to accomplish with Global Domination?

A: Since 99% of all metal sites makes as much sense as any Limp Bizkit album we figured it’d be best for everyone if we show the world how shit should be done. This is simply the only site on the Retardnet you’ll ever need. We tell it like it is. If we say a band sucks elephant-cocks, they suck elephant-cocks. If you wanna buy a new album, make sure to check what we had to say about it before you purchase it. You could say we are the law, coz that’s exactly what we fucken are. Judge Dredd’s got shit on us.

Q: What if I wanna buy an album that you guys haven’t covered in the review-section?

A: Don’t. Do not do anything without checking with us first.

Q: Why did you choose the name Global Domination?

A: www.nighwishfansarefags.com was already taken. This was the second best option.

Q: I don’t agree with the review you gave for “insert your lame-ass fave-band right here” … Can you change it?

A: How far up yer ass do you want us to shove this piano? And more importantly, will it fit together with the other piano’s you already got in there?

Q: You don’t know Jack about “band x” or “genre x”!

A: But we have nude pictures of Jack Osbourne, that makes us metal. And very, very sad.

Q: How do you afford all this music?

A: Well, we get plenty of cash and bribes from the labels to cover their shitty albums.

Q: Who’s your web host?

A: Satan. Fuck you think?

Q: Do you make any money or stuff on this web site?

A: Oh yes, we get everything from used condoms, badly spelled hatemails from Mike Poggione and regular 1000-dollar bills, to free guitars, cocaine and very sucky promotional albums.

Q: Don’t you guys have real jobs?

A: Only the blowing kind.

Q: How can I advertise on your site?

A: You can send us yer ad and a few hundred dollars, just to notice we spent the cash and gave fuck-all about yer ad. As you probably noticed, the banners we have here are from parties related to us. And guess what, they pay us jackshit. But since they out-do all of you in coolness, we are fucken fine with this.

Q: No, seriously, can I advertise on your site?

A: Seriously… Contact us. lordk@globaldomination.se is the address to use. If you’re serious, we might think up a decent solution. But we prolly won’t. We hate ads. Except the ones we’re showing right now. Bitch.

Q: Can I write for Global Domination?

A: Maybe. Send in a sample of something that you are chuffed with. There’s a huge chance of being laughed and pointed at but if you can handle that stage, we might invite you to the crew. Then we will all have a go at you with the GD-lubricant.

More info here.

Q: Is there a way to show how much I adore you?

A: Yes. If you’re goodlooking chick, you can.. Ahem… at least do the following:

Donate cash for our webhosting bills.

And guess what? You don’t even have to be goodlooking chick in order to donate. Now if that ain’t fair, we don’t know what is. The money donated goes directly into the Paypal-account of the hosting-company we abuse and will be used to pay for our future hosting bills. Really. So unfortunately we won’t see a dime of what you donate. But it’s for a good cause so we can live with that fact. You can donate 5, 25 or 50 bucks, choose yerselves.

If you want to donate more (you must be filthy rich now, aren’t you?), we recommend donating to Amnesty International. Or Unicef. Or making folded paperplanes or origamis, or anyfuckenthing that entertains you, out of the 100 dollar bills.

Q: Will there ever be any more contests?

A: We have had contests? Who fucken won?

Q: Will you review my music?

A: Of course. We’ll even bash it free of charge, if needed. Somewhere on this site is the addy to where you should send yer incredibly lame musical attempt.