### Nordavind / Nostalgya: Split

#### 02/02/10 || Daemonomania

This terrific split is entitled “The Nihilistic Wood of Isolation”. I have a hand-numbered copy – 096/333 written in red ink – or maybe just really light-colored blood! It features the combined talent of what I would suppose to be two Norwegian ambient black metal bands. FEEL IT, feel the envy coursing through you. Don’t even try to deny that you’re insanely jealous of ole Daemo right now.

Girls and ghouls, I double dare you to make it through these harrowing 47 minutes with your sanity intact. You shall fail, just like whoever is in charge of listing band and track names over at iTunes. They did their best to handle a double dose of incredibly slow, SPOOOOOOOOKY ambience and were driven totally kvltin’ crazy. Oh shit, this disc is so evil my computer just froze in the middle of “Desolate winterwalk”! Sweet Jeebus NO! Now I’ll never know if the track continues for another ten minutes of sampled horror movie dialogue and repetitive piano. If I were to take an educated guess, however…

How did I even fucken get this album? I never, ever would have purchased it willingly. Either it was slipped into a trade by someone who just wanted to be rid of it, like a dried monkey’s paw, or else… yes that’s it… a cloaked figure slid spectrally through the night and deposited it in my CD collection whilst I slept! Of course. Well, let’s hope that malignant phantom stopped over at Famous Pita on the corner while he was hustling back to Norway. Those dudes are open late and the food is damn good. Dunno how the Orthodox Jewish guys who run it would take to a Scandinavian ghost who whispers eternally about “icecold of grave” though.

Is a description of this music even necessary? Nordavind is whiteperson language for sleeping aid, and Nostalgya is their slightly better and more mysterious cousin. While I’m clearly not the right audience for the limited edition bounty which has been bestowed upon me, perhaps some of you sadclown treebangers out there would eat this up. Until I change my name to Soulfucker, “The Nihilistic Penis” split is going into the woodgate of silence. Forevaaaaaa.

- Information
- Released: 2007 a.y.p.s. – whatever that means.
- Label: Algis Art Productions
- Website: Does the forest have a website? Does darkness and winter have a website? I didn’t think so, asshole.
- Band
- Probably One Dude Doing Everything and Pretending to Be in Two Bands but maybe not: keyboards, lots and lots of keyboards.

- Tracklist
- 01. Nordavind
- 02. Svartedudendandruff
- 03. Den Dode Skyggen
- 04. 1349 was a good year for Bjorgvin
- 05. Desolate winterwalkin’ though a winter wonderland
- 06. Woodgate of Silence (wow)
- 07. Icecold of Grave (double wow)
- 08. Katatonia Martyfuck it, I’m tired of writing these dumb track names