### Six Feet Under: Maximum violence

#### 11/08/08 || Daemonomania

It sure is fun to have a laugh at the expense of SFU. Ha ha, listen to their half-assed repetitive songs, their stupid lyrics, and their pothead lead singer. But even such a weak bunch of slow-motion death metal fucks have their highlights, and goshdarnit – “Maximum violence” is one of ‘em.

If you’ve never heard SFU before, here are some easy steps to imagine what “Maxipad violence” sounds like. Take the new Origin album, “Antithesis”. Now remove 90% of the riffs. Kill one of the guitarists, and threaten the other one with endless urinary tract infections if he plays anything other than rehashed Obituary material. Stick a needle full of morphine into the drummer’s neck. Mate the vocalist with a dying pig, and paste dreads onto their hideous offspring. Give that pigbaby a few bong hits for good measure, and hand it a pen and a microphone. Congrats, you have yourselves a long-running Floridian groove-death metal band’s 1999 effort.

Based on the above description, how could anything good possibly come out of this mishmash of dickwits? You got me. But there are quite a few very entertaining songs scattered throughout the album. If you can turn off your need to hear displays of musical talent and creativity and get right into caveman mode you will learn to like or even love “Maximum anus.” I would say this sounds like prototypical death metal, but then I think about shit like “Pull the plug” and I think again. This stuff is low-effort on purpose.

Anyway, despite a mongoloid mindset the hits abound. Opener “Feasting on the blood of the insane” (with Paul Booth of tattoo fame on backing vocals) has a hilarious English-accented spoken word section. And with semi-rapped lines like, a son of a bitch, third generation/schooled in the art of human strangulation, how can you go wrong?

“Bonesaw” is a fast one for SFU and I’m sure they all had to take a long break with some G13 government weed right after recording it. To think that Barnes quit one faster semi-boring metal band to focus on a slower semi-boring metal band makes the mind reel.

“Short cut to hell” (don’t take the highway, I’ve heard it is bumper-to-bumper with AC/DC fans) is slow and punishing. And repetitious. Of course.

“No warning shot” features some of Chris “Marley” Barnes’ strained and tired sounding high-pitched vocals which I know everyone adores. Rumor has it that William Blake returned from the great beyond to pen the lyrics for this one. Die motherfucker, die, die! indeed.

“War machine” is well-covered, and I can’t believe lyrics this grim were written by KISS. Maybe there weren’t any Detroit whores to pleasure orally that day in 1982. I’ve heard other extreme covers of this tune and as yet no one else measures up. By the way, the songs I’m not mentioning do not deserve honorable or even dishonorable mention. They are painfully average.

Coming up next – “Torture killer” – my favorite, with a slow and evil vibe that inspired some Finns to try their hand at creating takin’ ‘er easy death metal. And recruiting ole Piggy on vocals was a genius move to say the least. Even lyrics stolen straight from the Corpse like fuck the holes I cut into you work well. If you want to hear more than three riffs per song though, you might want to look elsewhere.

And “Hacked to pieces” puts the finishing touches on this meisterwork. It sounds a lot like “Torture killer” for a bit, then awkwardly switches pace into, PANIC, fast mode again! The ability of everyone in the band is strained to the max in order to keep up with the moderately above mid-paced song they’ve written. Somehow, after much difficulty, they pull it off. Time for another weed break for sure.

There you have it, evidence proves that “Maxicum squarepants” is more good than bad. Which is more than you can say for the majority of SFU’s output. Grab some friends, four hundred beers, ten ounces of endo and prepare to party like you are listening to an album that was recorded in 1999. It might help to hammer smash your face to the point where brains are oozing out. Then you will be in the perfect state of mind to give this disc a:

7.5 out of 10.

- Information
- Released: 1999
- Label: Metal Blade
- Website: www.sfu420.com
- Band
- Chris “Natural Mystic” Barnes: vocals
- Terry “Guess Who Did It? The” Butler: bass
- Greg “Oh The” Gall: drums
- Steve “Johnson &” Swanson: guitars

- Tracklist
- 01. Feasting on the Blood of the Insane
- 02. Bonesaw
- 03. Victim of the Paranoid
- 04. Short Cut to Hell
- 05. No Warning Shot
- 06. War Machine
- 07. Mass Murder Rampage
- 08. Brainwashed
- 09. Torture Killer
- 10. This Graveyard Earth
- 10. Hacked to (Reeces) Pieces