### Panzerchrist - Rasmus Henriksen (first one)

#### 24/04/04 || Lord K Philipson

It’s safe to say that Panzerchrist is the best fucken band out of Denmark.

Ever.

Big words, true words. As you will notice in the interview, their latest effort “Roomservice” blew me away, so I naturally had to check if someone of the retards in the band were up for an interview with Global Domination. Guitarist Rasmus replied positively and only took a month or 2 to complete the very thing you are about to read. I command you to check out the mentioned album as well as the review of it here at the site. Let’s get tough-guy foul-mouthed danish fucker Rasmus going now, shall we?

Lord K: Naturally, as always… Do you have anything to add?

Rasmus: Not really… Feel free to correct my lousy spelling and grammar.

Believe me, I will. To get the ass-kissing over with then… Congrats on one hell of an album, this “Roomservice” one. I can imagine you guys are chuffed as a crack-whore getting crack with it. It’s been a long time since I heard anything this excellent within the death metal scene, and I’m one picky fucker you know. What’s the one thing you’d like to change about the album, if you had to?

First off, thanks. Although we’re completely satisfied with “Roomservice” there’s always something that could have been done better. Still, I’m having a hard time picking out where the improvement should be. It would have been great if we’ve had more time in general to make more tank bits in between the tracks and spending some more time on the producing part. What we did was basically just entering the studio and laid down our shit one by one as the tracks was originally written. We didn’t really have the time to sit back and think “maybe that part should be there instead of there, and maybe we should add something to that riff” and so on. There’s always something that just doesn’t sound the same in the studio as it did in the rehearsal room, so a little more time spent on that part would have been great.

What’s the reason for naming the album “Roomservice” and then have a fucken tank on the cover? I don’t get it, then again, I’m a rockstar.

I hate this fucking question… It’s a goddamn tank ramming someone’s front door, entering the living room delivering some death metal, cocain, booze, war, whores, pain and suffering or eternal horror… You know, roomservice! The Panzerchrist style. To cut it out so even a rockstar can understand it: if Panzerchrist was a Pizza delivering company and not a Metal band, this is probably what it would look like.

Vocalist Bo Summer is also in killer death metal band Illdisposed, who would win a fist-fight between them and you?

This is a tough one… Since Bo plays in both bands he pretty must equals himself out. That leaves Illdisposed with Lasse, Batten, Kloge and Muskelbux. Lasse looks, plays and fights like a girl so that definitely doesn’t do anything good for the Illdisposed party. One thing I must give him is that he’s good at throwing things at people from a distance. For example a glass of piss in the face of a cop at a soccer match… Batten however is another story. Although not very big, he is one of these crazy motherfuckers who always throw the first punch. He’s definitely an asset for Illdisposed with his head-on mentality. Kloge I don’t really know, but he always smiles and acts friendly so I can’t imagine him being a fistfighter. Muskelbux is probably the real motherfucker left in the Illdisposed crew. He’s pretty big and works as a bouncer at some bar, so I’m sure he’s pretty hard getting on the floor. In the Panzerchrist corner we have Reno, Frederik, Enevoldsen and myself. Reno is not very big, but has the fitness and stamina of an athlete, so that definitely must count for something. Being as fast as he is with his feet, I’m sure he’s up for some crazy karate kicking something… Frederik is also not the tallest man alive, but he is wide as a truck. He’s strong as an ox, so he’s defenitely one of the key players in the Panzerchrist party. Enevoldsen is the old experienced fighter. He has been in military service for a great deal of years, and just has this badass attitude that scares most people off that tries to mess with him. As for myself, my appearence speaks for itself. 178 cm and 130 kilos of pure street fighting insanity. If a tank could be made of flesh it would be me… As I said this is a tough one. Put I would put my money on Panzerchrist.

I love people who knows how to answer fucken questions properly, so there we go, I love you Rasmus. Bring in my 200 cm and 130 kilos to the Panzer-camp and we are all set for this bout. Anyways, I read you used to go with German lyrics and shit, and I have a few ideas why you stopped that. Wise move if you ask me, but seriously, why the fuck would you wanna use German in yer lyrics in the first place? The fact that you did use that language kept me away from getting to yer past albums, so I haven’t heard them naturally. But I have a feeling they are nothing close to the excellence you display on “Roomflower”. I’m right, right? Right…

The reason why we stopped using German lyrics is simple. Money. Call us sell-outs, we don’t give a fuck. In short, the record distributors won’t put the record out in Germany if the lyrics are in German. We have a lot of fans in Germany, so we decided to use English lyrics so that the record could be distributed in Germany. Actually the last record, “Soul collector”, was banned by some German censorship organisation so the record never came out in Germany. We strive to make our music as brutal as possible, and German lyrics just adds that final brutality. It simply just sounds more fucking brutal! Listen to “Soul collector”, and I think you’ll agree (or maybe you won’t). We write songs about tanks and war, so it feels naturally using the German language. As for the other records, no, they’re not as good. But “Soul collector” is definitely up there.

If I’m not completely fucked up on drugs here I think you guys had a girl playing bass before? What made you understand that she needed to be fired as chicks shall not play death metal?

Michael used to fuck her. So when she got fed up with that, she had to go….

Tell Illdisposed they suck ass. Come on Nicky, you can do it.

Illdisposed kicks ass! Only second to Panzerchrist.

One thing that pisses me off is when a band holds a website with sections that are “under construction”. You don’t have any photos for the fans on yours, still there’s a section that says “photos”. Why would one even wanna throw up a section and then have nothing in it? Isn’t it better to wait with launching that section until there’s actually stuff to put in there? We all know “under construction” means the webmaster is too fucken lazy to put up any pictures this millennium. Who’s in charge of the site so I know who to lay a good ass-beating on? And would you agree when I say your site is pretty fucken ugly?

You’ve already answered why the website is not complete. Our guitarist Frederik is the webmaster and yes, he is fucking lazy. And yes it’s pretty ugly….. Next question…

I hate metal bands covering other metal bands, as the original is in 9 cases out of 10 a lot better than any cover they could do. You guys really beat the fuck out of the “Metal Church” song, originally recorded by (drumroll) Metal Church. What made you choose this one? That’s what I call an excellent cover. But seriously, what’s the point of covering another metal band? I would find more interesting if metal bands started to cover pop-artists, and make the cover something unique. To cut it short, do you love me?

The song is a classic that we all love. The main riff just screams for some quick double-bass drumming, so it was an obvious pick. For fucks sake, alot of metal bands are covering pop songs, so making a cover of another metal band is more unique if you ask me. I heard a cover of “Losing my religion” by REM the other day by some shitty Black band, and it just fucking sucks ass. I hate that fucking shit. We play metal, get it? Pure fucking non-pop death metal and no, I’m starting to hate you.

That’s only becoz I look better. Seeing the size of Denmark is as small as my penis, it’s a wonder you guys have spawned so many great bands. Well, “many” might be a strong word, but what’s yer take on the following countrymen, rate them from 1-10 and put some comments in there with the grades. Don’t be gentle…

Sacrificial : Standard, but pretty well done. Haven’t heard the band that much though. 7/10

Raunchy : Pop shit. Next. 4/10

Invocator : A very good band that have created a lot of great thrash songs. I just hate the fucking vocals so that pulls the score down. 8/10

DAD : A tough one. The last 3-4 albums fucking sucks, but the really old shit is pretty cool. This was the band of choise when I was fucking chicks in the back of my Obel Manta in the old days…. Oh the memories….

Exmortem : Pure fucking evil and fast Death Metal. Not unlike Panzerchrist this band reaches for utter brutality and nothing more. The music is excellent put together, wery well played and is just so fucking true Death Metal. One of the best Death bands in the world right now. 9/10

Hatesphere: They play pretty good and the guys are fun and bla bla blaaaa. But the music still sucks… 5/10

Hatesphere always sends me their albums with regular mail, what the fuck do I have to do to get all of yer albums, preferably without paying? You do understand I’m sitting here with some MP3’s…? I just ripped you guys of some 20 US dollars. Isn’t the Internet a lovely thing? I know it’s a well-debated issue this file-sharing shit, but what’s yer take on it? Isn’t it good that people can access your music easily, even though it means you won’t sell shit? It’s not like death metal bands sell shit anyways, right?

You will buy the fucking record so I can afford more beer!! Nothings for free at my shop, that’s for sure. You can always ask the record company, but they’re pretty cheap too… File sharing is fucking cool, but only for getting porn. I’m with Lars Ulrich on this one, but I’m well aware of the fact that the problem should be solved by lowering the prices of the albums. There’s just no need for file sharing because almost every band has Mp3’s on their websites, and you can get to know the band that way. Oh yes, I’m very interested in easy access to our music, but only if it fucking pays! And yes, every one knows that Death Metal doesn’t sell…

Fuck, I have some 18 more questions to come up with, are you bored yet? Take this moment to tell Illdisposed they suck, even if they don’t.

I’m bored. Illdisposed sucks. Happy now, Rico?

My name is Leif Edling, not Rico.The song “Lies” has a pretty unexpected faded-out ending. Is this becoz someone, good guess the drummer, fucked up big time towards the end or did you just think it was a cool thing to do?

We thought it was a cool thing to do. Maybe it was not? Reno rarely fucks up…

Sure, and I have the body of Cindy Crawford. Bo’s vocals are a bit different to what he does in Illdisposed… Is this a planned move or does the guy just don’t cut it anymore? Oh, and you can tell everyone you think Illdisposed suck if you feel like it.

Are they different? I don’t agree, but the whole production differs from what Illdisposed have done, so it must be that. I would like to tell people that you suck.

You love me. Naturally I have to throw this one in; what’s yer fave NHL-team, fave NHL-player and fave jersey-number? Why do you think Denmark never had a good hockey-player? Do you guys even have ice down there?

I hate hockey. Real men play soccer. Only girls run around on ice. Oh yes they fight and so on, but you can do that in soccer as well. No, not much ice in Denmark.

I must remember to never interview someone again who bashes the NHL, the sport of sports. How much of the recording of “Roombollocks” was edited in Pro-Tools? You can be frank with me, I’ll still be me though. Why is it that most people think it’s wrong to re-record a certain drum part if needed, but it’s ok when you do it with guitars, bass and vocals? Isn’t it basically the same thing? Yes it is.

I totally agree that it’s the same thing with the drums as with the other instruments. And yes, some of the songs were recorded in two or three parts. Insisting on recording it all in one part is just a fucking waste of time.

I just recorded the God Among Insects album, an all-star band consisting of myself and members from Vomitory, Sanctification and Dark Funeral. We spent 4 days recording this album and it pretty much kills everything else out there. I’m sure you’d love this shit, but to the point… How many days did you spend recording “Roompenis”? Anything spectacular you’d like to tell about the recording, we all know how frustrating it can be being in the studio. Who of you guys actually suck most when it comes to nailing the respective parts?

We spent 12 days on recording, mixing and mastering. Yes, it can be frustrating being in the studio but if you drink hard, as we did, those problems disappears. None sucked, we just rocked.

What bands impressed you lately? You can’t mention The Project Hate or God Among Insects though.

Deicide. “Scars of the crucifix” is in my opinion their best record ever. The band has been around for many years and is just getting better and better. I just love all this Satan shit. “God sucks ass and Satan fucking rules, DIE!!!!!!!!!”. Only Glen can do this shit without it getting boring.

Oh my fuck… First he hates hockey and now he praises the new Deicide-album… I should have gathered some more background information on this cocksucker before interviewing his Danish ass. However, you are the rhythm-guitarist, I know that much. Do you think you are better than me? Is there a reason you don’t play solos? If they fire you from the band, is it ok if I join you guys and sort some riffing for you? What gear do you use? If you play Ibanez I’m going to label Panzerchrist Nu-Metal from now on.

I’m better than you. I don’t play solos because I suck at that, and because Frederik is better at solos than me. I use a Hughes and Kettner Triamp stack, which is the best Metal amp available. I’ve also tried Marshall and Mesa Boogie, but nothing beats the Triamp. As for guitars I use a Gibson Explorer and a BC Rich Warlock. If you play metal, it has to look metal too!

Exactly what the fuck IS Nu-Metal?

It’s pop music with a twist. A bad twist. I just hate that fucking shit, not that people are mixing different genres but that thing just fucking don’t works for me.

You wouldn’t by any chance have some Panzerchrist shirts to send me, of course for free? I promise to wear them at some photos. Do you actually sport any merchandise whatsoever? Preferably without a fucken tank on them.

We will offer some military style clothing from our website later this year. There will be as many tanks on it as possible I will guarantee you that. And no, you will not get it for free.

You are so cheap, and I thought you loved me. Did you make it clear you think Illdisposed suck just yet? If not, here’s another chance for you.

Fuck off….

I love you. While we are at it; go ahead and bash some piss-poor bands here. Bands you’d like to see retire. Don’t forget to mention Illdisposed while we are at it.

Konkhra. A shitty band that gets worse with every record. There are a lot of shitty bands that need to retire, so I will just mention the worst one…

I love the fact that Rasmus can bash any band out there but he picks countrymen Konkhra, haha…To lighten this interview up a bit… What do you think happens when we die? And more importantly, do you think tanks have feelings?

I just hope we fucking rot because there sure as hell ain’t no place in heaven for me. The greatest philosophy for life must be to think that you either just rot or go to hell. Realising this fact will make you do your best to get the most out of life. And to drink as many beers as possible before it’s too late. Tanks don’t have feelings, but they are a great instrument for expressing feelings.

So, when can we see another Panzerchrist album you think? Is there a chance you will send me an advance of that one? Is there any material written? Do you really think you can top “Roompussy” ?

Were currently writing new material and hope to be able to put out the record some time this year. Panzerchrist gets better by each record and we definitely don’t plan on stopping that, so it definitely will top “Roomfucker”.

How does it feel to be a speaker of one of the world’s ugliest languages? How do you guys actually understand each other? You do know you all sound incredibly drunk when talking, huh? Can you say “Illdisposed sucks ass” in Danish, please?

You missed the whole point. We sound drunk because we ARE drunk. Get it?... Oh yes, Illdisposed babber tarm.

Wasn’t that last question kind of cheesy? You can ask me something in return, becoz I’m nice like that.

How am I going to be a cool badass rocker like you???

Start a site, interview piss-poor Danish bands, have a laugh and get tons of tattoos. So, we are getting towards the end here. Are you sure you have mentioned everything you wanna get off yer chest? I’m not sure if I have asked why you think Illdisposed suck, but I’ll let that one slide for now. And hit you with this instead; would death metal be death metal if there were no double-bass in it?

Double-bass is essential in Death Metal. Otherwise it just wouldn’t be the same. I hate slow music…..

Have you ever, yes or fuck no:

...said to Bo that Illdisposed area good band, but lied? No.

...fucked a friends’ girlfriend, and bragged about it? No.

...thought you were a rockstar, just to realize you’re not? No. It’s the other way around.

...Said “I’m a rockstar” to a chick, just to get laid? Yes, and it actually worked. It doesn’t matter how many records you sell, just the fact that you play Metal in a band of some proportions actually will get you groupies.

...did it really work? Read above…

...fought with a bandmember, maybe becoz you fucked his girlfriend? Yes. But that was another band… She started it.

...wanted this interview to go on for 30 more questions? Not really, im pretty fed up right now.

I hate ungrateful people. Anyways… Good fucken day, bastard. How the hell are we doing down there in Denmark? What are you fuckers currently up to?

And a good day to you my friend. Most things are pretty good in Denmark right now. The weather is great and the girls are showing more and more. Were up to the usual: playing metal, getting drunk all the time and fucking chicks. Cheers mate.