### Maryland Deathfest 2010: Day 3

#### 29/07/10 || InquisitorGeneralis

What: If you do not know by now you are fucking retarded. When: Memorial Day Weekend. Where: Club Sonar and surround streets; Bodymore, Murderland fool!

Day 3: Hot, Heavy, and Horny.

Well, we have finally arrived at the end. Sorry for the delay in getting this done, the final day was definitely the most action packed and featured the band’s we were all most familiar with. The bands on Day 3 definitely delivered and there were tons of Crusty beatings and drunk, wild-eyed and completely wasted Latino metal dudes to keep us entertained during the few and far between down times. Day Three was the soupy moneyshot that finished off an extended weekend orgy of death metal, alcohol consumption, and drug abuse. Enjoy this last, and plentiful, set of comments…

3:00 – 3:35: Gorod, Outside Stage

IG: Now we are getting into the shit I wanted to see! By the third day I had had my fill of old-school, washed up bands that had been resurrected from the gutter and was ready for some new shit. Gorod played a nice mix of material from their three full-length releases and really got things going on the outside stage. “Here die your gods” was insanely badass as was all the material from their newest record, “Process of a new decline”. I was a bit disappointed that “Programmers of decline” and “Diverted logic” were not played though. However, Gorod’s mix of technicality, melody, and entertaining stage presences made the performance a winner and great way to start off they day.

Gorod started Day 3 off with some intense French finger flying action!

D: We rushed to the fest just to catch these guys, and the sun was fucking beating down as they played. Good show, but tech death of this stripe is best enjoyed on CD where things can be cleaned up and easily discerned. For some reason Gorod is a very likable bunch of dudes. They look happy to be up there, killing us softly with their dongs. Saw the bassist and singer in the audience for Entombed and chatted with ‘em a bit, but sadly the brownies and beer clouded my ability to communicate well enough to arrange an interview for GD. Oh well. One of their guitarists has to be one of the most smugly (smug & ugly) characters in metal today.

Ryan: The first band we saw on Sunday, and definitely not a bad one. I wasn’t crazy about them but for their mix of technical and semi-melodic death, they were surprisingly cool.

T: I did not think much of their set. Was actually kind of very boring. Can’t remember anything. Honest to Satan.

Gorod Setlist: Disavow Your God A Common Hope Chronicle From the Stone Age Here Die Your Gods Blackout Almighty’s Murder

3:35 – 4:05: Crucifist, Inside Stage

D: There were no other bands to see at the time, so me and Ryan Samuhell stayed for Crucifist. The clown makeup was in full effect. The band announced they were from “Rochestaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar(gh)”, New York. Draemsauce prepared for punishment. Quite the opposite occurred. Crucifist, by adding a minimum of the part where the singer just screams and the guitars don’t match the drums and the whole thing sounds sloppy as a nine woman deep-throating and snowball session mode so common in black metal, produced win. Sure the vocalist wore a robe or cape or something. Sure he reached for the sky to grab the huge nonexistent left ball of Lucifer. Sure there was a lone lit candle placed upon an ominous altar on-stage. Sure the balding math teacher bassist stepped up to the mic for a sec and did an awful Danzig impression whilst the lead guy clutched a giant upturned cross. But Crucifist wins high marks for producing plenty of great punk riffs and headbanging breaks. Way to go. Best black metal I’ve ever seen live by leagues.

IG: When the Bozo lead singer held up and upside-down cross and the fat, bald guitarist started to wail like Glenn Danzig I checked out. Black Metal still sucks and Daemo is clawing his way out of his current position as my best friend and man lover. Anyone interested in the job?

Ryan: What exactly is a crucifist anyway? Is it like instead of Jesus on the cross, it’s just a fist on it? Or is a fist tightly clenching a crucifix? Well whatever, they played and I watched them, and let me tell you, the first two songs were pretty top titties. After that however, they kind of got a little blah. The vocalist enjoyed doing his black metal voice in between songs. As D points out, it was quite silly with him announcing he’s from Rochester in the grimmest or grim voices. Though they kind of lost me after the first two really good songs, the last song was pretty cool as well, complete with some semi-hilarious yet somehow awesome clean vocals provided by the overweight guitarist with his chronically receded hair. During this moment the vocalist also held up a crucifix upside down and it may have been the most metal moment of the festival. Musically I’m half and half on these guys but I’ll be damned if I didn’t find that entertaining.

Crucifist Setlist: A bunch of songs that dis’ on Jeebus

3:35 – 4:20: Sinister, Outside Stage

D: Had “Cross the Styx” a million years ago, traded it. Meh. Exactly the feeling I remember as I drunkenly shuffled over to hear these guys. Shuffled away shortly afterward. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

T: It took but all of one song to know to walk away.

IG: Missed these guys, here’s what they played… like anyone gives a fuck. I didn’t and don’t. They covered Celtic Frost. Whoopie!

Sinister Setlist: Enslave the weak Sadistic intent Summit of sacrifice Awaiting the absu Men down Embodiment of chaos To mega therion

4:20- 5:05: Necrophobic, Outside Stage

D: Walked over. Saw corpsepaint and spikes. Heard black metal. Was expecting some death metal in the mix. Didn’t hear any. Steered clear.

T: Uh… nothing!

Hooray for Black Metal, hooray for Satan… no wait, Necrophobic sucked…

IG: Same, I lasted maybe 5 minutes. There needs to be a separate Black Metal stage… in the bathroom. This was Necrophobic’s first show ever in America. Don’t let the door hit your asses on the way out fellas.

Necrophobic Setlist: Intro – the darkened psalm Awakening… Before the dawn Blinded by light… Shadowseeds Revelation 666 Spawned by evil I strike with wrath Into Armageddon Nailing the holy one For those who stayed satanic The nocturnal silence

4:40 – 5:10: Gridlink, Inside Stage

Ryan: Though I don’t own any of their music yet, I’m familiar with Jon Chang because of Hayaino Daisuki. Now, Gridlink plays fast. Really fast. Honestly I couldn’t really pick out a lot of songs, just a lot of energy. Jon Chang is an energetic as fuck dude live (though maybe a bit more subdued than the Converge maniac) but he was cool and seriously, Gridlink just looked awesome. They had to be the most diverse band of the festival. I couldn’t quite see the drummer but I heard he’s Hispanic I think, and you had the guys of Japanese origins, Jon Chang and the guitarist (who frankly just looked awesome) and the bassist was this older white gentleman who could probably have passed for a college professor of some sort and the second guitarist looked like a not as huge Lou Ferrigno. The band didn’t even face the crowd half the time, they’d turn around and face the drummer and each other. I think they were just having a blast playing as a band. Good show? Of course! As IG put it “that sounded like some GRINDY kind of grind” (something to that effect). Yes, yes it did.

IG: Grindy grind for grind-loving grinders. I’ll pass.

Gridlink setlist: I love grind, and so should you

5:10 – 6:00: Eyehategod, Outside Stage

D: I can safely check the fan box in the Eyehategod column. They’re one of the first bands someone turned me on to when I started expanding out of the Swedeath subgenre. That being said, no one would argue they’re the most accessible bunch of drug addicts on Planet Metal. And EHG was in extra-inaccessible mode at the MDF. For some reason Iron Mike IX decided not to distort his vocals, and for me that put a serious dent in my ability to enjoy their set. Vocals are key for Daembot. Key. So sounding like shit when you have such a big audience, many of whom are hearing your tunes for the first time, seems like a dumb move. To add to cognitive dissonance, Mr. Williams yelled something at the audience about us not caring about black people. Was it a racist comment, or commentary on how NOLA is going down the shitter? Got me. But it went over like a lead balloon. Still, the rest of the band kicked a healthy amount of ass. The SwampSabbath grooves flowed mightily, and Bower Power ™ was in evidence behind the kit. Musically teh ‘God was aces. Pity the Al Jorgensenizer wasn’t turned up to 11.

Eyehategod kept it sludgy in the humid, heavy heat!

Ryan: Never listened to an album by them so this was my first time experiencing them at length. Not my favorite show of the fest but not bad by any means. So good ol’ Southern tinged sludgy metal. A nice change from all the br00tal death.

IG: EyedontlikethemasmuchasDOWN played a solid set in the blistering midday sun. I agree with the weakness of the vocals but from what I understand it is a miracle from the God he hates that Mike Williams is still even breathing, let alone singing (term used lightly) for an hour is the heat…in a leather jacket. Queludes must lower your internal temperature by about 35 Degrees. I did not know any specific songs but I liked allot of what I heard, especially the guitar playing. Most of what I have heard from Eyehategod’s sounds like it was recorded in an abandoned house in the Lower 9th (that means shitty) so the live sound was much better. I doubt I will ever like them as much as other NOLA bands like DOWN, Soilent Green, and Crowbar but I walked away liking Eyedreamofgenie more than before so nuts to them!

Rocking out or passing out? That’s the magic of Mike and Eyehategod!

T: I left after two songs of what seemed to be kind of boring music (note: I was neither high nor too drunk at that point) so I could go see Pestilence and make sure I had a close view.

Eyehategod Setlist: Jackass in the Will of God Story of the Eye Blank 30$ Bag Sisterfucker Dixie Whiskey Left to Starve Serving Time in the Middle of Nowhere Take as Needed for Pain White Nigger Masters of Legalized Confusion Blood Money Methamphetamineod

6:00 – 6:45: Pestilence, Outside Stage

T: This was one of the main bands aside from Entombed that I wanted to see. I was very pleased by their set. Mameli didn’t sound horrible, the other Patrick had very high energy throughout the set, and watching Jeroen (Ju-roon?) playing on his snazzy fretless bass was fun. The crowd overall was pretty boring, myself included, and Mameli was visibly agitated at that fact. Oh, well, we can’t help that we’re not sure if you’re just as enthusiastic, Patty-boy!

IG: What he said. I sat Pestilence out in favor of Black Breath and I still stand behind my decision 100%. By this point, my need for late 80’s, early 90’s slow to mid-paced death metal had been wwwwwaaaaaayyyyyy more than met.

Pestilence Setlist: Horror Detox Devouring Frenzy Chemo Therapy Dehydrated I & II Hate Suicide Resurrection Macabre Land of Tears Process of Suffocation Out of the Body

6:05 – 6:40: Black Breath, Inside Stage

D: Black Breath are the MDF victors for me. I knew they were associated in some way with death ‘n roll era Entombed, but that was about it. Lo and behold these scraggly lookin’ fucks took the stage and dropped it like it was hot. Infernally hot. Not quite sure how I’d categorize their style, but there was a hefty dose of that chunky Swedeath guitar tone combined with songwriting chops. The singer certainly sounded much more demonic live than he does on disc. Metalheads worldwide be warned – these Gaymericans have the chops to be huge. I was almost too mesmerized by their set to extend my fist behind me as pitboss repellent. Almost.

Even though they looked like the just woke up, Black Breath fucken rawked!

T: Wish I saw these guys.

Ryan: My first exposure to these guys was at MDF but I’d heard a couple other GDers talk about them so I wanted to give them a try. Thankfully almost the whole crew was there and I saw IG nodding his head in approval (it wasn’t a headbang, it was more of a nodbang). Without a doubt one of the best bands at the show. A real rock’n‘roll attitude and stage presence. One of the guitarists had this look on his face and in his eyes half the time like “what the fuck is wrong with you motherfuckers? Start moshing, start headbanging already! Jesus.” He looked pretty cool. The whole band did really. Great music and great stage presence. Perhaps the best show of the fest for me, though Gorguts and Gride stand side by side with them.

Metal metal metal, cookie cookie cookie!

IG: I shall continued the sucking of BB’s dick. Their version of black’n‘thrash’n‘roll was killer and definitely stood apart from the black and grind metal that had dominated the inside stage for most of the show. “Unholy virgin” may have been the most dominating song heard all weekend except for “Nostalgia” by Gorguts. Many bands at the fest seemed to be trying really hard to be grvm, evil, and hardcore. These guys had a genuine, just-climbed-out-of-gutter aura going on. With a little time and love these guys could be the next big metal band to come out of the land of purples mountains and amber waves of grain.

Black Breath Setlist: Black Sin (Spit on the Cross) Escape From Death Razor to Oblivion Unholy Virgin Eat the Witch

6:55 – 7:30: N2002, Outside Stage”

D: Nirvana 2002 is one of those early 90’s Swedish DM bands who everyone talks about but no one really listens to. They formed a million years ago, never released a full-length, and faded into obscurity. After seeing ‘em play, I ain’t surprised. The second outside stage seemed plagued with a muffled sound overall, but even that technical difficulty can’t hide a lackluster set of tunes. N2002 has that “Beyond sanctorium” syndrome where the basic formula of Swedeathery is fucked with and boredom ensues. I sat in the audience awaiting enlightenment and crusty Scandinavian bliss. But it didn’t happen. The rest of our crew went to a nearby diner (encircled with crusties) and they missed very little. Nirvana’s brightest moment was a cover of Entombed’s “Crawl”. Which Entombed would go on to play themselves. Weak sauce.

IG: Me, Ryan, and Mrs. Generalis enjoyed a few double cheeseburgers in the neighboring diner while these Swedes were on stage. The diner was swamped with hungry, poor, dirty crusties who begged for scraps of meat and uneaten french fries. Every year the crusties come out in herds to this show and are promptly beaten into bloody, muddy pulps by the local police officers. Can’t say that upsets me in the least. Get a job you stinky fucks, and learn to pick up your mangy dog’s shit. Christ, I watched at least four or five crusty mutts dump all over the streets of my fair hometown! We have no problem fucking this town up on our own fuck-you-very-much!

N2002 Setlist: ??? ??? Slumber Pleasure to Kill (Kreator cover) Crawl (Entombed cover) Mourning

7:35 – 8:30: Pentagram, Outside Stage

D: Heard some Ozzy-style wailing in the distance, figured it was Pentagram, and didn’t bother trekking over. Think I saw the lead singer around a few times over the course of the MDF. Or was that the dude from Possessed? Whoever.

Dio’s dead, but this dude is still alive? Fuckin’ a!

IG: The singer from this band gets the goofy metal-doofus award for the weekend. Someone from Black Sabbath needs to sue Pentagram immediately. These old fogeys sucked but most of the crowd seemed to really like them. Guess I am swimming against the current on this but Pentagram and me will never be friends. Never I say!

T: Hahahaha… no. I was waiting for Entombed, motherfuckers!

Pentagram Setlist: Day Of Reckoning Forever My Queen Ask No More You’re Lost, I’m Free Review Your Choices Relentless Petrified All Your Sins 20 Buck Spin Sign Of The Wolf When The Screams Come

8:35 – 9:45: Entombed, Outside Stage

D: Well, post-“Wolverine Blues” Entombed has never held much interest for me, so I didn’t recognize a chunk of their songs. But what I did recognize was pretty badass, and they certainly rocked “Crawl” much better than N2002. Fucken Petrov has a monstrous voice that has to be heard live to be appreciated. The highlight for me was “Damn deal done” – a latter-day track which possesses a healthy stomp. Then tragedy struck. The band closed out with the immortal “Left hand path”. The time came for that last, tombstone-busting riff for the ages. They fucked it up. They fucked it up! I expected to be carried into the depths of pleasure by that guitar tone booming out that same simple ancestral RIFF – and instead someone wanked all over it with a poorly executed whammy bar sodomy solo. Why? Why not just let the magic happen? It seriously left me with a worse taste in my mouth than the combined nightly gorilla mask and teabagging exploits of Ryan, Trauma, and IG. Bummer.

T: This was it, this was the culmination for what I came to see. Although, I made the biggest mistake of standing right at the barrier. Huge fat teenagers pushing, hitting, shoving just to headbang right in front. Enough was enough, I got the fuck out of there as soon as I saw a crowd surfer’s feet in my face. Amazingly I walked right into the rest of the guys and stayed from there. THEN, this douchebag, with his troll girlfriend, proceeded to HEADBUTT me in the back. This was the same douchebag doing exercise/jazzercise moves in a big moshpit during Asphyx’s set. Every time I moved he followed, always an inch within my back. Fucking douchebag.

LG and the boys got down after dark

As for Entombed, I loved every minute of their set, from opener “Chief rebel angel” to the closer “Left hand path”. The absolute best ever, though, was the moment they began “Sinner’s bleed”. I was so stoked I had no fucken idea if they fucked anything up. Sure didn’t sound like it. L.G. sounded absolutely monstrous. The closing solo on “Left hand path” was shittily played, I agree with Daemo, but still. I got to see fucken Entombed. That in itself is a glorious moment.

IG: Seeing these legends was pretty fucken cool. “Damned deal done” was great as was some of the newer stuff which was pretty shocking. Not much more I can tell ya that big T-Jrauma has not said already. Good performance, glad I finally got to see ‘em.

Ryan: I’m not really a big Entombed fan. Some of their old stuff is ok, but it doesn’t get me wet or anything. Seeing them live was about what I expected. I must say though, they definitely busted out a few groovy and cool as hell riffs from time to time. I would have liked more catchy stuff like that personally. When they were doing that I was really into it.

Entombed Setlist: Crawl When in Sodom Supposed to Rot Stranger Aeons Sinners Bleed Revel In Flesh I For An Eye Damn Deal Done Left Hand Path

9:40 – 10:40: Obituary, Outside Stage

IG Main coverage of these Florida icons falls to me since the rest of the Dream Team decided to go watch Converge scream and yell inside. While they did not achieve the level of domination reached by last year’s festival headliners Bolt Thrower, the Tardy Brothers and Friends did dish out an entertaining set that mixed in some new material with the much-desired classics. “Chopped in half” and “Final thoughts” were the best for me. I will admit though, Obituary seems like a one and done deal when it comes to live shows though. I have no aching desire to see them again any time soon. Still, the sounded pretty good, played a lot of tunes I dig, and are genre legends so I am happy I got to see ‘em.

I certainly did NOT take this high quality photo of Obituary

T: I was standing out by the crusties and their dogs in the parking lot (so I could take out my earplugs) whilst listening to their set. I will say this: John Tardy does not sound so completely terrible live. Their music is just WAY too boring. I almost wanted to hit on one of the crusty girls just to make the time go by faster.

D: Couple years ago I saw Obituary open up for Napalm Death. It was a good show. But not good enough to justify watching them again. Were they playing at the same time as Converge? Maybe that’s why I skipped it.

Obituary Setlist: List of Dead Blood to Give On the Floor Threatening Skies Dying Chopped in Half / Turned Inside Out Final Thoughts The End Complete Face Your God Evil Ways Forces Realign Drum Solo Slow Death Slowly We Rot

12:20 – end: Converge, Inside Stage

D: Jacob Bannon is like a tattooed version of Richard Simmons. Sweating to the oldies volume XXX – The Straightedge Years. He was running around that stage and screaming his guts out nonstop. Big points for energy, but I can’t say I recognized a single song Converge played. Truly a bludgeoning, dissonant experience. And the pit was chock full of ninjas busy destroying each other. When Bannon talked about their songs all being about “the most important thing…love” – well, ok. If you love choppy eardrum beatings, then welcome to romance heaven.

IG: Watched one song while trying to buy a Black Breath t-shirt and it gave me a headache. Meh, third time seeing Converge, third time thinking they sucked.

Ryan: I think they would have benefited from a longer set. Which they would have had but they chose to switch with someone because they had to split the fest early. So we pretty much got only the heavy songs at MDF. Now, I love me some Converge, but they’re more dynamic than just a spazzcore band. They maybe just wanted to kick as much ass as possible with their shortened set. And it was pretty cool don’t get me wrong but there was too much low end in their sound. You didn’t really get to appreciate the crazy guitarwork that you hear on the albums. The singer was a spazz though, that was fun. I think from the moment the set started until the very end, he had water or drool or maybe a mix of both pouring out of his mouth. I don’t even know how it was possible but it happened.

T: Didn’t see these guys, and glad!

Converge Setlist: Concubine Dark Horse Heartache Hellbound Reap What You Sow Cutter Orphaned Axe to Fall Wishing Well Damages First Light Eagles Become Vultures Broken Vow Drop Out Last Light

Parting Words, Final Thoughts and Bromantic Confessions

Ryan:

D: It was yet another excellent Deathfest. How many years have we been going, IG? 4? 5? A billion? Anyway the lineup seems to be getting stronger each time, and the more Dominators we have in da house the better. Of course, main man Inquizz is the hostess twinkie with the moistness. Enjoyed the company of the Trauminator yet again. Duder made me want to pick up some Aeon immediately. Plus having Ryan’s love of black metal (and cock) as joke fodder was priceless. His hatred for the disabled is legendary – EVEN IN HELL! Someone, namely Traumz, should put in a link to the Mad TV skit about the demons attacking. That should just about sum it up. Musically, hailz to Black Breath and Gorguts. Cheerz to many others. Propz to a few black metallers for avoiding utter suck and incorporating semi nonsuck. MDF and the resulting GD-brodeo forevaaaargh.

T: I gotta say, nothing in the whole year is more fun (aside from amazingly getting laid — IF that happens) than going to the Deathfest, and I’ve only done it twice. I can never thank IG enough for being a gracious enough host, and props to he plus Daemo and newcummer Ryan Samuel for providing endless fodder for making my face hurt laughing. My only complaint stems from one giant disease-ridden Baltimore mosquito bite that I had on my hand… right after I got tested for any blood-borne diseases, no less! Even when I was a complete stranger last year they made it fun as fuck. My first three-day venture is certainly not my last. The lineup this year was definitely better. It could have been only Entombed all day every day, and I’d drown in a sea of my own semen and drool. Major props go out to Gorguts, man. Biggest surprise of the whole weekend. As for the whole Mad TV skit? Click the penis. Is there possibly a better video for a bromance-ridden weekend? I thought not. All I can say is that I cannot wait for next year.

Ryan: MDF: how does it work? Fuckin’ miracles. Besides that, a whole lot of bros being bros with ample amounts of beer and special brownies. For me MDF was more about hanging out with the Global Dominators than it was about the actual music, but what better thing to do with fellow metalheads than witness three days of death metal madness (and grind awesomeness if you’re cool like me)? Not only that, it’s very interesting seeing that many black t-shirts and unwashed bodies in one location, all bowing at the altar of metal. Many thanks to IG who was an awesome host, funny guy, and all around good dude. I sure hope I’m able to make it again next year, because now that I’ve tasted, I certainly don’t want to miss out. Anyone who is able to make it and has people to hang out with, make all efforts to attend this great festival!

IG: Wow, after reading everyone’s comments about the weekend one thing becomes abundantly clear…

I am the fucking man! A great host, a curious lover, Mr. Fucking Niceguy, and friend to everyone! Bow to the awesomeness of Inquisitorhostwiththemosteralis!

…I kid, kid. Ryan hit it spot-on with this comments about the true awesomeness of the MDF was being able to spend a lot of time with serious metalheads and just have fun. The fact that we saw three days of kickass, legendary bands was the icing on our bromantic cake. The four of us were a true Band of Brothers, except instead of parachuting into Normandy under Nazi MG42 machinegun fire we bravely withstood hours and hours of death, black, and grind metal. It was glorious.

Of course, there is one more tattoo for me to share and this one may blow your mind. If you thought Spock, Picard, and Lemmy were intense, check this out…

Yes, I would like the Luke/Vader fight scene from the Bespin tunnels on my shoulder complete with exact window detail please?

Looks like someone is interested in making a bukakke film at the next Lucasfilm convention! I could not think of a better note to end these articles on. Thanks for reading friends and hopefully a few of you Euros can come across the pond and join us next year. Or, maybe the resident pussies from Alabama or Florida could put down the bourbon and rum respectively and make the trip up? You know who you are. Until next year…