### Black Lotus: Harvest of seasons

#### 02/12/08 || theProphet

Black Lotus. I’ve been wondering when I was going to encounter a band with that name. I always thought that when I did, it would be some goth or emo travesty, though, but this is not the case here, fortunately. Unfortunately, it’s the closest possible alternative to the two genres mentioned above, without actually being either of them. We are talking melodic black/folk metal of the utmost pussywhipped variety. Clean vocals and all.

Musically, we get bullshit riffs galore, weak black metal screams coupled with the atrocious aforementioned clean vocals. I can’t find even a notion of anything interesting in this and even if the music had possessed some degree of quality, you wouldn’t be able to fucking notice it because of the hideous production. Muddier than a flood in a clay factory, it’s virtually impossible to discern some sort of coherent musical pattern in this audial diarrhea. Obviously all the recording equipment was solar powered and due to the fact that every black metal band records during the night, there must have been some sort of power shortage during the mixing process.

I suspect solar power, because as the song titles suggest, Black Lotus do not only borrow their name from a plant. In fact, their entire philosophy revolves around their little vegetative friends. Trust me, losers (and that would be the wretches who constitute this band), the nature kingdom certainly does not need YOU to champion its cause, much like feminism never needed the Spice Girls’ incessant yammering about “gril power”. There, I said it. Black Lotus are the Spice Girls of black metal.

If you want to make a stand for the sake of the environment, I suggest you suicide bomb a chainsaw factory or slit your own throats in the forest so that you may act as compost. The main factor is that you die so that we don’t have to listen to your music ever again. Because it’s obvious that you don’t have the talent to improve.

And finally a message to Bleak Art Records, if your other bands are as worthless as these miserable failures, please, do fucking refrain from sending their records to us to waste our time listening to and reviewing.

Folder deleted.

2 expensive magic the gathering cards out of 10.

- Information
- Released: 2008
- Label: Bleak Art Records
- Website: www.blacklotus.net
- Band
- Lindsay A. Kerr: 12-stringed guitar
- Jason Robertson: keyboards
- Adam Angus: guitars
- Nick Engwer: bass
- Jasper v.d. Veen: vocals
- Craig Stewart: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Prelude
- 02. Signatura Rerum
- 03. Statues in Auburn
- 04. Of Pathless Woods
- 05. Terra Hiberna
- 06. Wreath of the Triumphant Sun
- 07. Awaken the Season of Old
- 08. The Fallow Earth