### Profanation - Anton

#### 22/03/06 || Global Domination

This interview was conducted by ex-staffer/cocksmoker Rafal.

I’m sure none of you have ever heard of Profanation. I can’t blame you. Their music sucks hairy balls but they were cool enough to comment on my two reviews in very fair and friendly way. Anton (guitar), my interlocutor, seemed to be quite the joker so the answers he gave are nothing but a sort of piss-fun jokes. Here’s what he had to say…

GD: Could you remind me why I’m doing this interview with you? I honestly bashed your band in my reviews, stating that Profanation is as exciting as watching paint dry. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that this interview won’t change your position from “Teh Suck” to “Teh Shit” on our webpages. Agree?

Anton: How often will I need to tell you this? You’re doing this interview cause you like it, watching paint dry. On the other hand you’d like to promote sucking shit in public or so. I think after this interview, nothing will be the way it used to be, hehe.

Tell us the story behind Profanation. The basic shit: when it was founded, how many releases you have already put out and so on and so forth…

Start up boring… Ok: It was a very cold night before christmas 1997, when Santa Claus decided to end the reign of good music on this earth and unleash Profanation. Back then he thought he’d give a guitar to Alex and frighten him so much, that he’d scream his guts out. A bass guitar fell down to Luxl’s feet. And on the drums he put the christmas angel called Anja. This threesome put up some noise and disturbed different locations in Germany, which are well known for their bad taste… In february of 2000 the christmas angel lost its wings and Luxl thought he could play drums even worse. So I had to join in as Master of Disaster. Later on, Alex guts were a ‘lil used up, so Hippi had to join to help him out… A couple of gigs followed and in 2001 we found ourselves bad enough to get our trash, called “Dead man rotting”, out. Reactions from tasteless people all over the world were great but we needed a break as we were still not shitty enough. So we tried to incorporate an even worse 2nd guitar-torturer, but he was too good for us. So in 2005, after 3 times recording the same shit, we were ready to open another chapter of the same book, called “Dead body fuck”, very well received in famous webzines like Global Domination. Shortly after, the best one-handed guitarplayer in the world, best known as Christoph, joined our league.

“Dead Body Fuck” contains almost the same stuff as “Dead Man Walking” music-wise. You also entitled it similary. Why is that? Weren’t you able to move on a little bit, “progress”?

Why do you complain? AC/DC are very successful with this formula. Progression would mean that we would have to rehearse, but we’re rockstars, so we don’t need that. The titles are a very deep-minded concept which will be revealed on our 12th output which will be on heavy rotation in your player. And you’ll kneel before your speakers, trust me.

Why did you end up playing metal? The world would be exactly the same place without Profanation, you know?

Do you really think that? Hey, we’re just some niggaz from da Bronx who decided to join a different hood and if you don’t like that, it’s just because we’re black. So our hood is the world and without us, there’d be no hood, you know?

Whom did you have to kill to sign a label deal? Bands like yours should never see the light of the day.

Huh, we’re still unsigned as the major labels couldn’t afford to get us on their rooster ( Note by the Lord: I’m letting this typo slide, coz that really is killing me. Cockelikoo!!! ). So we’re really happy with our situation to be the worlds biggest unsigned boygroup.

And from all shitty things you have chosen Profanation to be your band’s name. And you claim you play gore/death metal. Awsome. But why is it so bad for fuck’s sake? Ain’t it about time you started writing good songs, guys?

Maybe we should add some keyboards and female voices to our songs, maybe you’d like that better. By the way, what are good songs? Ask your daddy, and he’ll tell you what good songs are, definitely not the noise you’re listening to…

What was the finest moment in Profanation history until this interview? I guess, you are aware of the fact Global Domination will help promoting your band the way we helped Beheaded and Mike Poggione.

The finest moment will be next month, as we’re touring Australia (they were not allowed to listen to our stuff before booking us). But I think this interview is even better promotion. I like the job you did for Beheaded, by the way his gay reaction wasn’t that funny, gotta say that I like their “Recounts of disembodiment”, but what would you expect from me, huh? So Global Domination will just be an natural development…

Are your parents and girlfriends/boyfriends proud of you? I mean, have they ever supported you in one way or another? Frankly, if I were you daddy, I would tell “Stop playing that crappy music. Go to your room and do your homework instead”.

My daddy is a priest, so he’s absolutely proud of it. Sadly enough, our boyfriends have left us, after they read your review. They’re so easy to influence, bastards. Are you aware, that you caused major trouble? Our next album will be filled with slow and sad songs, full of violins. By the way, it’s great, that my hemorrhoids have a break…

Rate from 1-10 the following metal groups:

Bolt Thrower: 9 – They’re just great, one of the most groovy bands around, and they keep away from progression, too…

Gorefest: 4 – I liked some stuff but mostly boring…

Vomitory: 5 – Quite ok.

Vader: 5 – I like some stuff by them…

Stryper: – Plain 10. Our godfathers.

God Among Insects: 8- Never heard a song of them, but I like insects.

Destroyer 666: 3 – Didn’t catch me.

Porcupine Tree: 8 – I like that stuff from time to time…

What famous bands have you shared the stage with? By saying “famous”, I really mean it.

Hmm, Metallica in 1976 and John Paul II from Poland.

I have heard you are on a good way to go overseas and put some brutality into the Aussies. Man, that must cost a lot of money to say the least. Can you really afford that or is it just a gossip to make chicks get wet? I don’t believe people want you and your music there.

Yeah, it’s much, as we have to pay them for coming to our shows, you know. I had to go into debt for it, but maybe they like our shit and we get most of the money back. Think we just need to play “Highway to hell” and they’ll be cheering and throwing their money at us… I heard chicks there are very wet and horny for our stuff, hehe.

Let me be a little more serious right now. What was the largest pay you have ever been given for your musical activity?

Very serious: 300€ for a gig, but if you mean for selling cds, we’re really good at that, I think you wouldn’t understand…

Have you ever…

...fucked your friend’s girlfriend?

Uh, they’re too ugly.

...kissed a guy?

Just in the ass, to suck the shit out.

...drunk all booze and wanted more?

We’re anonymous alcoholics and proud of it, my name is Anton…

...been caught masturbating?

Too many times to mention, best was, when George Bush rubbed me…

...farted in public?

You know, why is there the ozone layer?

...listened to your own music and said “Damn, that sucks!”?

I don’t listen to that shit!!!

We are getting closer to the end. This is your last chance to plug your shit, your other bands, websites & whatever else you want. It’s free of charge.

Alright, who wants a different view, go here: www.profanation.net – band homepage.

www.myspace.com/profanationdeathgrind – for downloads and a little more info, than on our homepage.

music.download.com/profanation – for free downloads.

www.mylastchapter.net – with a more honest interview and reviews.

You are prolly fed up with the interview so let’s end it right here. You may say whatever you want now, the bill is on your way.

Ok, thanx Rafal for the great interview, that’s what I call fun. I like your site a lot as it’s really bashing the shit out of some bands, very subjective but REALLY funny. To everyone who’s reading this: Don’t trust Rafal, he thinks that bad promotion is the best promotion and he just wants to make us rich and famous so we can pay pension later on…