### Crustacean: Insaniac

#### 02/12/03 || Lord K Philipson

“The band consists of ex-Achrostichon, ex-Spina Bifida and ex-Master members…”.

Awesome, this band must be fucken excellent if they have to bring up they actually played with people from losers like Master. Not to mention that Achrostichon and Spina Bifida really are the icing of the cake in music.

These 3 mentioned bands definitely deserves a tattoo on my hairier parts, and I´m not talking about my face this time. But, you shall not judge the book after it’s cover but after it’s… well… something else.

After this Formula 1-like start with namedropping and all, let’s look at the members names. FDA,TMP, JVI and MKK. Excuse me? These fuckers are the ones responsible for, as they say themselves, their “absolut killer thrash” to be found on this album. Awesome, I feel so lucky. This is phenomenal. The band also claims to often be compared to At The Gates, Death and Slayer with “Pestilence-alike vocals”. The last thing isn’t completely out of the blue, but they should have mentioned the fact that it’s not even nearly as good as the bands mentioned.

At The Gates they say? Well, fuck me, they must have ATG-albums I never heard. Death? There must be a Death out there that I never knew existed. Slayer? Why? Becoz they have some fast parts? Fuck you guys, I´m more ATG, Slayer and Death than you ever were or will be.

Yes, they play some kind of thrash, sure, but is it good? Is the pope wearing a Colorado-jersey 24/7? Do I play Ibanez? Do I like Aurora Borealis?

No fucken way.

They can mention as much as they want that they have played with ex-members of this and that band, I´m not impressed in the least. I can’t for the fuck of it see how anyone can go apeshit over some 3rd grade thrashband when bands like Haunted and the likes are around. band like Forbidden and Agony plays “absolut killer thrash” from where I come from.

Crustacean will be no more in some hours, anything else is a miracle, coz it’s really that uninteresting. If you can’t write good riffs, don’t write riffs at all.

No fucktards, I have managed to carry on without you guys for 30 years, I will easily manage another 50.

You know it’s not a good album when the question “damn, soon NHL starts again and Forsberg will dominate it all” comes up all the time. That’s how much of an impression Crustacean did for me. To end this bullshit then… The cover holds a pile of skeletons and a piss-ugly monster of some kind (looks like the one eating the subway-train in “Men in Black 2”). When that’s the best thing about the album, you know it’s time to listen to something else. And I will do just that. Some motherfucken Dark Funeral it is.

3 /10

- Information
- Released: 2003
- Label: Cold Blood Industries
- Website: www.crustacean.nl
- Band
- TMP/Uriel: bass, vocals
- MKK/Klesk: guitars
- JVI/Grunt: drums
- FDA/Bones: guitars

- Tracklist
- 01. Arena (qIII)
- 02. Random terror (chemical juggernaut)
- 03. Psycho 2001
- 04. Satanizer
- 05. Deathtrap (infiltration part III)
- 06. Soulsucker
- 07. Bloodshot
- 08. Lost (head)
- 09. Penance (ad infinitum)
- 10. Redeemer (sanctum sanctorum)
- 11. Foul usurper
- 12. State Necropolis (the very end of you)