### Avian: Ashes and madness

#### 06/02/09 || Lord K Philipson

Did these guys take their moniker from the famous watermaking company? If so, imagine being served piss in a bottle and you have the new brand: Avian. I think Evian should sue these guys for tainting their name. You could see this coming though, just look at the title of the album for Christ’s sake. “Ashes and madness”… They could as well have titled it “Anus and flowers”, chances are we’d like the damn thing better.

So, Avian suck with their ball-less shit metal and having a vocalist trying to sound like Layne Staley (and suck at it) and some other talented vocalists isn’t helping matters either. I don’t know what these guys are aiming at creating but if it’s shit metal – congrats guys, you have succeeded at all accounts.

It’s not like we choose to review bands like Avian. This crap gets sent to us and we are nice enough to cover it – no matter the suckiness. It’s a fucken mystery what kind of bullshit people try to pull off to have people believe bands like Avian is the next big shit (in some ways they are, if you get my point):

“Brilliant/Epic Metal – an amazing sophomore effort of vocalist / producer, Lance King (best known for his many albums with BALANCE OF POWER, PYRAMAZE and GEMINI) and guitarist/writer Yan Leviathan. Album features BILL HUDSON of Cellador fame.”

That Bill Hudson guy must be very famous since he’s namedropped de luxe. I wonder what he’s doing here, and more importantly: why? Fuck it, over to some more bullshit meant to promote Avian, and this one is my favourite:

“Musically Avian is a nice blend of old school heavy metal (think Iron Maiden!) and the power metal / true metal of nowadays (such as Hammerfall, Edguy and the likes plus the classic US metal bands like Savatage and Megadeth). Strong songwriting, great guitar / keyboard parts and brilliant vocals are displayed on the 13 tracks (14 in Japan). With “From The Depths Of Time” now available world wide, the heavy metal scene for sure hasn’t stopped bringing great bands to the world of music – Avian being one of the very best.”

Trust me when I say you shouldn’t believe the “hype”, haha… Avian sucks and they do it with the best of them. Some riffs and arrangements sound like something a band of talentless twats would create at their first rehearsal. Who gives a fuck if there’s obviously some talent in the soloing department when the overall material (and don’t let me go into production details) is weaker than a 110 year old woman in a wheelchair. Avian’s got one thing going for them though, drummer Jerry Babcock’s got “cock” in his last name.

Avian is shit and deserves a 2,5 out of 10.

Appropriate name for the label who released this by the way.

- Information
- Released: 2008
- Label: Nightmare Records
- Website: www.avianband.com
- Band
- Lance King: vocals
- Yan Leviathan: guitars
- Bill Hudson: all guitar solos (hahaha)
- Brian Hollenbeck: bass
- Jerry Babcock: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Ashes and Madness
- 02. The Lost and Forsaken
- 03. Into the Otherside
- 04. Esoteric Lies
- 05. Fall From Grace (Instrumental)
- 06. Beyond the Hallowed Gates
- 07. Thundersoul
- 08. All the King’s Horses
- 09. Never Fade From Me
- 10. Time and Space Part II: Unlock the Mystery