### Flotsam And Jetsam: Ugly noise

#### 09/01/13 || Lord K Philipson

As you all know, Flotsam’s biggest claim to fame, and the only reason anyone ever gave a single shit about them, is the fact that Jason Newsted played with FAJ before joining Metallica. That’s how it will always be, like it or not. I was never a fan of these guys and didn’t even know they were still around when GD got the doubtful “honor” of reviewing this new disc aptly entitled “Ugly noise”.

So, is it time to give a shit about Flotsam And Jetsam anno 2012?

Absolutely not. We’re still talking toothless poor man’s (it would be stretching things to call it “thrash”) metal with cringe-worthy vocals underneath a weak, bassless production. The stuff that The Flots fire up on “Ugly noise” have been used 400 gazillion times before and in much better ways. There are no hooks or a decent groove anywhere on this disc and sometimes it sounds like these fuckers just started out playing consider the extremely juvenile riffs and the generic arrangements. Want some examples?

1. Listen to the opening of “Carry on”.
2. Or why not take a listen to the whole “Rabbit’s foot” song?
3. “Cross the sky”… Fuck is this? Stryper meets Sepultura?
4. “Motherfuckery”. Now they want to be Ministry.
5. In “I believe” Flotsam wanna rock it out with the cock out. They fail.
6. I could make this list a hella lot longer, but I think you get my point.

And here’s a tip for future album recordings: if you don’t know how to incorporate electronics properly into your sound, my suggestion would be don’t. I understand you wanna come across as “modern”, “up-to-date” and “in-the-game”, but guys… Seriously. Stop it. The result is amazingly embarrassing.

Believe it or not, I owned a “No place for disgrace” t-shirt back in the late 80’s. Not becoz I dug the album, which I didn’t, but becoz it looked cool. We weren’t as picky back then, us metalheads. In hindsight, that shirt’s artwork looked like shit. Perfect match considering what they sound like, I guess.

- Information
- Released: 2012
- Label: Self released?
- Website: FAJ Facebook
- Band
- Eric “A.K.” Knutson: vocals
- Ed Carlson: guitars
- Michael Gilbert: guitars
- Jason Ward: bass
- Kelly David Smith: drums

- Tracklist
- 01. Ugly Noise
- 02. Gitty Up
- 03. Run And Hide
- 04. Carry On
- 05. Rabbit’s Foot
- 06. Play Your Part
- 07. Rage
- 08. Cross The Sky
- 09. Motherfuckery
- 10. I Believe
- 11. To Be Free
- 12. Machine Gun