### Panzerchrist: Soul collector

#### 06/05/09 || Daemonomania

Little Jimmy runs down the stairs early on Christmas morning. He’s excited as shite to see what loot Santa may have left under the tree. When the 9 year old gets there, however, all he finds is a note directing him to look in the garage. Could it be a new bike? Or a trampoline?

His mind spinning, Jimmy rushes out to the carport. The child beholds a massive object, bigger than the family S.U.V., clumsily wrapped in newspaper. What could it possibly be? When he tears away a bit of the wrapping paper in front of the mystery present, a large caliber gun barrel meets his eyes. Before Jimmy can even think, the tank blasts forth a shell and he’s blown to smithereens. Merry PANZERCHRISTMAS, kiddo!

Ha ha, child murder aside I’m happy to be reviewing a disc that’s been in my collection a long long time. Many a kindred soul has been collected by the vicious black/death assault of one of Denmark’s finest exports. Having heard some of their later material, like “Room service”, one can easily say that “Soul collector” represents a far more blackened version of their WWII metal.

Speaking of which, despite the fact that their theme is the second consecutive failed Teuton bellicose endeavor, and all the lyrics are in German, these dudes swear they ain’t fans of Gaydolf Shitler. Good news, or else I wouldn’t have picked this up. Then again, my grasp on the language of Hasselhoff, Manowar, Kraftwerk, and Ahab isn’t very good, so far all I know they could be pledging themselves to the Luftwaffe every song. I’ll be content to remain ignorant. And they do have a quote from “Saving Private Ryan” when U.S. soldiers are flamethrowing (?) a bunch of Nazis, so I’ll assume it’s all good in the hood.

The black metal influence comes in the form of high speed melodic tremolo riffs backed by machinelike blastbeats. By the way, they supposedly have the “world’s fastest drummer” behind the kit. They tested this by laying a bunch of infants on various dudes’ drumsets and seeing how fast those babybodies were liquified. Whoops, child murder again! Gotta keep taking those pills…

Onward. The death metal comes from slow(er) parts contrasted with sheer unrelenting brutality, and the catchiness that pervades. Take a listen to the awesome “Kalt wie der finsternis” with its insanely cool beginning, abrupt pause for 15 seconds, and then return with the roar of Bo “Subwoofer” Summer’s monster growl. Speaking of which, this dude can pull off the highs and the bowel-evacuating lows like nobody’s business. You don’t get the nickname “subwoofer” for nothing, folks.

So yeah, “Soul collector” is on when it’s on, and a little boring when it isn’t. The grainy production fits but at times you swear you’ve had enough of being tossed around. Then they throw in a stomping midpaced section with Al Pacino’s speech at the end of “The Devil’s Advocate” perfectly spliced into the background, and you forgive them.

One moment, as fellow staffer Inquizzmaster will readily attest, stands out above all the rest of the album however. That’s the end of new-classic “Schwarz ist unser panzer” (which roughly translates to “black is the panther that bangs your mom”). The majority of the song is Panzerchristmas’ typical melodic blastbeat rapery, but soon enough all that stops, and we’re dealt a slow, EXTREMELY FUCKEN HEADBANGALBE riff that simply annihilates. The drums work their way in and next thing you know you’ve slammed your forehead through a coffee table and you’re losing a tremendous amount of blood from a gaping wound. In other words, good stuff.

Don’t get iced like little Jimmy in the story I told above. Instead, know your enemy and listen to “Soul collector”. By the time you’re done, you’ll know it is a big mistake to unwrap any sort of tank-shaped gift.

7.5 silent nights, deadly nights out of 10.

- Information
- Released: 2000
- Label: Mighty Music
- Website: Panzerchrist MySpace
- Band
- Bo Summer: vocals
- Michael Kopietz: guitars, bass
- Karina Bundgaard: bass
- Reno Killerich: drums
- Michael Enevoldsen: guitars

- Tracklist
- 01. Das Leben Will Gewonnen Sein
- 02. P2krieg
- 03. Der Panzertöter
- 04. Panzergrenadier
- 05. Schwars ist Unser Panzer (Ich Batt’einen Kameraden)
- 06. Unser höchste Ehre
- 07. Kalt Wie der Finsternis
- 08. Zum Gegenstoss